The Girl of The Sun

six

      Raf parked in front of the house after the fight. It was so silent you could probably hear a pin drop. Raf noticed my arm and rested his head on my shoulder.  I don't think I ever seen him cry, I didn't know he could. He tried not to show me but I grabbed his face before he could hide it, our foreheads resting on each other.

Then he turns away facing towards the window.
"If he ever touches you again, I swear I'll"

"Raf, he would never hurt me. He's been my best friend for a long time, he's just going through something right now" I speak then mumble at the end.

"I got so angry I blacked out, all I saw was red. If anyone is dangerous it's me. I'm not good for you Fabi. You're an amazing girl and I don't deserve you." His mood changes and his voice raises.

"That is not true Raf, if anything you're good for me. You've given me a place to stay, you're there when I need you, you love me and that's all i've ever wanted." I raise my voice back while holding back tears, my voice cracking.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I love you, so much." He hugs me tightly and squeezes me.

"I'll always love you, forever"

  School has finally started and things have cooled down between Raf, Alexander and I. My birthday lands on the 21st of September which happened to be a Sunday. My dad finally called me and promised he would meet Rafael. My dad suggested we meet him in Denver where there would be a lot more fancy restaurants to choose from. I wear my favorite sunshine yellow skater dress that has ties on each strap. I wear my hair up in a claw clip. We meet at my favorite restaurant ever, The Cheese Cake Factory. I know it sounds so basic but we don't have one in Poblano and I look forward to it every time i'm in Denver. Raf and I finally arrive in Denver. I give my dad a call and he offers for us to meet him at his condo which happens to be smack downtown. Going up the elevator I feel so awkward because this is half of my life. Up here living the luxury life with my abusive father who I barley see anymore, and when I do it's just to have a strained rocky relationship or be stuck in Poblano struggling and fighting with my mom. This isn't something Raf is used to either, by the look of his face I can tell because every few minutes he touches a vase or the marble walls and says "hmm how fancy." On the 21st floor, my dad's door is all the way down the hallway. I knock on the door and my dad opens it almost right away.

"Happy birthday hita." My dad gives me hug that almost seems forced.

"Thank you dad, there's someone I want you to meet. This is Rafael, my boyfriend."

"Hey how are you doing Rafael, I'm Ruben. Come inside, I just have to grab a few things and we'll head out." My dad says after giving Raf a firm handshake.  My dad is my exact height, 5"8, where Rafael towers us both. We step into the hallway and it smells like very expensive cologne and candles. It's the same as always, full of windows, furniture from HR and Pottery Barn, alcohol on the counters. My dad walks out and he's wearing a classic dress shirt and black slacks with those black shoes that rich business men wear. He has very thin short hair and his almost bald but has a pearly white smile, enough to trap any vulnerable woman in the Denver area.

"We can take my truck." Raf insists.

"No that won't be necessary, we can take an uber there it will be easier." My dad pulls out his phone to talk to the Uber driver so he could find us better. Usually when my dad orders an Uber, expect for him to get drunk off his ass. That's if he really cares about drinking and driving.

We arrive at the restaurant and sit down at a reservation table. The night started out good I would say. He asks Raf a lot of questions and gets along with him since they have a lot in common. He loves the idea of him going to the same high school and playing the same football team that he did back in '92. He also suggests that he joins the army after high school and I roll my eyes secretly every time he mentions it. Our food arrives and I gobble up my salmon that I only eat occasionally, because it's that good. Mid bite, my dad starts to bring up all the vacations we've been on. To be completely honest, I hate when he brags. Plus, it's not like he wasn't emotionally draining to be around anyways.

"Those were good times, you have a lot to be thankful for little girl." my dad aims his wine glass towards me and then drinks it.

"Yes dad of course, I'm very grateful for allowing me to experience the gift of travel." I sincerely add to his comment to make him happy.

"Remember how fat you used to be? You never would take care of yourself either, I'm glad to see you look a little better. Not that I like the short hair, old ladies cut their hair short. And your make up is too much. And that dress is too revealing, what are you some kind of slut?"

I try not to look embarrassed but I definitely feel that way. "Okay dad I think you've had too much to drink, how about we drink something else." I push his water glass towards him. Raf looks down and puts his hand on my knee.

"You've always been so ungrateful. I do all this for you. All the money I made is for you and you runaway. Why can't you just be like Jane'a daughter? She's going to a Christian college next spring. I tried to make you into a successful young lady and now look at you." the drunk in his eyes shows after 5 glasses and 5 more of vodka shots before this.

I hold back tears and my voice is shaky. "I didn't runaway dad you pushed me, and then you ran away before I could get back up. If that's how you feel dad, then I'm sorry I'm not what you want. Maybe you should take Jane's daughter to dinner instead." I wipe my mouth with my napkin and get up. Raf grabs my hand and we walk out. We take a Lyft to the parking lot of the complex and drive home. We stayed pretty silent for the first 30 minutes.
"He's missing out you know? My parents never had a daughter, all boys. They say you're the daughter they've never had and have always wanted. You're perfect Fabiana." He turns to me and has one hand on the wheel. He looks so handsome with his little tie from Dillard's and his dress shirt sleeve rolled up. I try not to let my sadness show and smile. "For once, I walked away. Even if I almost cried, I know I don't deserve that treatment. I'm not afraid anymore." I stare at the night sky as I lay my head on the window. The mountains are outlined with a shadow, I can see the trees far away in the moonlight. A shooting star appears by the half moon. I close my eyes and fall asleep.