The Girl of The Sun

thirteen

One week from today is prom night which means that's only seven days for me to pick out a dress. I'm definitely not going to shop for one here in town, so I make an unexpected trip to Denver. I take Estrella with me in my mom's old white Volkswagen Beetle car since I no longer have my Ford Focus from the accident. It's a convertible and it's really hard to open and shut sometimes but I don't mind taking a ride in it, it gets me places and that's all that I care about.

I pick her up and we head up to the capital city. It's about a two hour ride so we stop for a quick coffee and breakfast. We listen to music, talk about the past week drama and how excited we are for graduation. Something urges me to tell her about when I applied to the fashion school in Paris, I haven't told anybody yet, I don't even know if I'm gonna go, leaving Rafael behind would really leave me aching for him more than I already do lately.

"So, I've been meaning to tell you something"

"What is it?" Estrella takes a big sip of her iced coffee.

"Actually I just want your opinion on it. There's a chance I might not even get in but the thought of it in general just puts my future plans together so perfectly. It's what I've always wanted to do, so I applied at the Fashion Institute of Paris." I smile as if I'm beating around the bush.

"Oh my God you need to go. That's an opportunity of a lifetime. They'd be a bunch of estupidas if they didn't accept you." She sits up in her seat.

"I know right? It's just— Rafael, I don't want to leave him. I applied just for the heck of it, even if I don't get accepted or I can't afford it, just the fact that I even tried makes me happy. I can always start out in baby steps like I'm doing now on Depop. Maybe I can move up to Denver if anything and Raf can come with? And so can you, of course." I say as she gives me "a what about me" look.

"Well Rafael needs to understand that you're passionate about your dreams. I'd go, I'd leave and never look back if I were you. But with my parents restaurant I could never leave. You'd be the first to leave this place, could you imagine?" Estrella goes on while she stares out the window.

She's right, I would be the first to leave the town. Not just to Denver but out of Colorado in general. Most post high school graduates go as far as Fort Collins of even Arizona sometimes, but eventually they come back to Poblano, like they never wanted to leave to begin with. That's what I don't understand. Everyone here has this small town mentality and shames anyone with new ideas, the town needs updating and at least half of it dresses as if it's still 2008. I never in my whole life living here understood it or fit in with everyone else who wants to stay here, but that's if I get accepted and if I manage it with Rafael.

We arrive in Denver finally after 2 times of dead stop traffic. The skies are clear and I can see the downtown buildings as we enter the mile high city. We stop at a suburban area with a nice shopping mall. There's a million stores in there, each one we stopped in, embracing what we don't have back in Poblano. There's a lot of stores with formal dresses. My dress has to be a certain way, I don't know exactly what that is yet but all of what I've seen aren't it. At the last store we look into, I find the perfect one right in the windowsill. It's a silver metallic color. It has very thin elastic straps that collapse into a halter look as the back part droops down, exposing the back. It's long, and it almost looks like the dress the Little Mermaid wore when she was reunited with Prince Eric in the end.

"Perfect, if I have to spend my whole savings on this I will." I check the price and it's a whopping $500. It was painful to hand my card to the cashier but it had to be done. The worst feeling ever is to feel like you have to search your purse for loose change and dollars just to get by because you wanted to buy something that fulfilled your heart. No, money doesn't buy happiness, but when you do it for yourself it's such a powerful feeling. So badly, I just want to buy whatever I want and not have to worry about struggling later.