I will forgive you , but i will never love you

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"Hello Miss McFarlin , please can you follow me". I was lead down a small narrow peach painted corridor and in to a small grey coloured room where a middle aged woman and a younger man sat.

"Please take a seat Miss McFarlin, I'm officer Helena Rose and this is my partner officer Matthew Pent".

I quickly responded to her order ,seating myself in the leather cushioned chair opposite officer Pent, they were both looking at me as if trying to guess what i was about to tell them.

"So your school has informed us that Mr Staller , Sexually assaulted you and also hit you , is this true?" Her voice was stern and i knew that i just had to tell the truth or i would probably get arrested for lying to them and wasting valuable police time.

"Yes , yes it is true" My voice was cracking , i could feel the painful lump making it's way up my throat."And how many times has Mr Staller done this to you?" . I felt a warm tear run down my face, i didn't want to be here having to relive my pain all over again , why did the stupid school have to get the police involved?

"He has raped me twice , but he has only once hit me and that was before in school" . " I know that this is hard sweetheart , but we need to know everything" . I nodded my head understanding that they were only doing what their job required them to do.For about another 15 minutes they were asking questions like if i knew why Nixon had raped me , did i know if he had raped anyone else before me and other similar questions , but the one question that got me the most was what he had done , they wanted to know every detail , i could feel my eyes prickling again the tears were flowing thick and fast. I saw the sorrow in Officer Rose's and Pent's eyes.

"Interview terminated at 15:45 pm" Officer Rose's voice sounded serious , she pressed the stop button on the voice recorder . "OK thanks sweetie , you have given us  a lot  of useful information" , "It's OK , But errm where's Nixon"

"He is with another officer giving his statement , he will probably be spending the night here"  , "WHAT NO!!!" My voice was extremely loud , i don't even know why i was bothered about what happened to Nixon or where he was or if he was spending the night in some shabby, cold cell , why should i care he raped and then hit me , he was a monster. But somehow i couldn't forget what he had screamed out when we were in school about him wanting someone to love him and that he wanted me to love him , what did he mean , he hates me , and if he says he dosen't then why the fuck did he rape me?.

"Can i see him , please ?" , "No i'm afraid not , you are not allowed any contact with him" I think that this was the first time that Officer Pent had actually talked during this whole interview.

"Why not?, it's not like he is going to change my decision , i have told you everything already and there is no way that i am going to change it because it is all true , Please i just wanna talk to him" The frustration in my voice was becoming clearer.

"Well , i will see what i can do , but i am not promising anything" . Both the officers walked out of the room quietly whispering to one another  , did their parents not tell them that it is rude to whisper...obviously not.

10 minutes later Officer Pent walked in to the room , "You can speak to Mr Staller now , as he has given his statement" . I shot up off my chair following him down numerous peach coloured corridors all identical from the last.

He opened a small blue door to reveal Nixon sat there , with his head down on the table , he looked a mess. Slowly i stepped into the room and Officer Pent left shutting the door behind him .

"Go away will you , I have already told some other coppers , what happened OK!!" He sounded angry and full of rage.

"Nixon it's me Skylar" , His head shot up in seconds , his eyes meeting mine instantly. "what are you doing here Skylar?" . "Nixon , i wanted to talk to you" "What to laugh in my face and tell me that you are going to throw a party when they send me down"  I hated it when he was sarcastic , it made me hate him so much more. "No Nixon , if you must know , I'm not going to press charges , i don't want to see you get sent down , i just want you to get help" i tried to stay calm so that he knew that i was serious.

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