Unhealthy obsession (Haikyuu AU)

Chapter 18

RECOMMENDED SONG: HEART BEATS SLOW (COVER BY JONATHAN FREEMAN)

The walk from the station to the coffee shop was silent but pleasant: it was as if neither Kuroo nor Oikawa wanted to speak so as not to break the sense of complicity that they seemed to have developed only with each other's company.

As he said, Oikawa took Kuroo to his favorite coffee shop, a small and cozy place with small round tables and two chairs facing each other. It smelled of fresh coffee and Kuroo found himself looking around before Oikawa gently grabbed his hand and led him to a table next to a large window overlooking the street and the gray cloud-filled sky above that threatened rain. It was a perfect place to let off steam and have a good time with someone without thinking about anything for once, or so Oikawa hoped.

Kuroo dropped into the chair with a defeated gesture, his mind somewhere far from where his body was. A waitress approached them and Oikawa ordered two coffees while Kuroo watched him with a strange look in his eyes, paying attention to the soft and melodic whistle of his voice. When the girl walked away and Oikawa turned to look back at Kuroo, the dark circles under Kuroo's eyes brought him back to reality, which fell on him like a slab, making him feel responsible for what happened.

"I'm sorry," Oikawa said in a whisper.

"No, it's not the first time this happens," Kuroo said shaking his head and offering him a tired little smile.

No matter what Kuroo said, Oikawa was going to feel responsible—because Kuroo was in that situation because of him and only because of him—but still he put on a small and warm smile that peeked from the corners of his lips. Kuroo tilted his head and returned a tender smile before speaking again.

"You blame yourself," he whispered, reading through his smile.

The waitress brought the two steaming coffees and set them on the table, muttering a soft "enjoy" before leaving again. Oikawa put his hands around the cup to warm them and ducked his head with his heart in a fist, avoiding Kuroo's gaze. He felt miserable for doing that. Never in his life had he intruded between two people in this way, and he was realizing that despite Kuroo's fame, the man was still a person with feelings, and the pained look that was sensed in the background of his amber eyes hurt Oikawa to the depths of his soul. He wanted to do something to fix it but he didn't even know where to start.

"Listen, Oikawa-kun," Kuroo called out.

Oikawa didn't dare to look up but that didn't stop Kuroo, who slid a hand across the table and grabbed one of Oikawa's fingers that were around the cup to pull it, so he could grab his hand with his own. Oikawa then looked up and his heart sank even more when he saw Kuroo's glassy eyes.

"Don't do it," Kuroo mumbled calmly stroking the back of Oikawa's hand with his thumb. "Don't feel responsible. It's my relationship. Mine and my boyfriend's, and as such, we're the ones who should take care of it, and neither of us are doing so. We've never done it, and I doubt it will change now."

Kuroo withdrew his grip and clasped his hands on his lap. He lowered his head as he played with his own fingers, somewhat sad and sorry. "I'll tell you something. You wanna hear it?"

"Yeah," Oikawa muttered in a muffled voice.

"Koutaro and I aren't the perfect couple. Not even a bit. We love each other, or so I wanna believe. But a relationship needs something more than love; it needs communication and it needs trust. And ours doesn't have those."

"Is that why you told me yesterday that he was probably having sex with someone else?" Oikawa asked.

"Yeah. My boyfriend gets jealous, goes to a club, takes a man or a woman to his bed as revenge and then I take my own revenge when I'm recording. That's all. It has happened a thousand times. But I'm a bit sick of putting up with his outbursts," Kuroo sighed.