4 Seasons & 1 Moon

Almost Kissed

I walk slowly down to the stables. To be honest I don't know if I want to ride today. I open my ears and as I walk past the councillors meeting room I can't help but listen. "I just think she should go home" one of the councillors say.
"We can't send her home" Stefan argues.
"She's got too much going on! She needs to be with family" another councillor says.
"I am NOT sending her home" Stefan says almost yelling.
"It's not your choice!" Someone else argues.
"Fine, if you don't let her stay then I'll let her stay at my house" he snaps.
"You'll get fired for that!" Someone yells.
"Well it's my only option!" He shouts.
"She's not your responsibility Stefan!"
"Well I'm making her my responsibility" he mutters. He walks out and slams the door. He stops when he sees me. "Umm... how long have you been standing there?" He asks.
"Long enough to hear most of your argument" I tell him.
"Stefan I need to stay... I just started making a connection to Shadow... please try and convince them to let me stay... I really want to stay" I beg.
"They won't send you away... I promise" he mumbles. I nod.
"I'm going to the stables" I tell him.
"Actually. I want to show you something" he says.
"OK... I'll let Jenny know" I tell him.
"She already knows... come on" he says and runs off. I sprint after him smiling. He runs all the way to the other side of the lake and behind some trees. He stops and I bump into him. I look around him and look at the ground. There's tiny baby wolves squirming and fighting for the food. "They're beautiful" I whisper.
"Yeah... we found them this morning... Jenny and I... this can be your life Shadow... you can have some of your own if you want to" he tells me. I sigh.
"I don't know Stefan. This is a lot to take in right now. I just want some normal in my life again" I say quietly.
"Shadow... theses wolf cubs... they would be your normal" he whispers.
"They would?" I ask.
"Yes... I can even train you to change at your own will if you want... so you don't need to run from the full moon anymore" he tells me.
"How long does it take?" I ask.
"Well there's a hard part to it..." he says hesitantly.
"Tell me" I plead.
"You need to force yourself to change over and over without stopping until it doesn't hurt anymore... before you can change at your own will" he explains.
"But if I can force myself to change why can't I just do that?" I ask.
"If it no longer hurts to change it'll be easier, and the faster you change the less you feel. So you wouldn't need to feel your bones break for hours on end" he explains.
"You really think I can do this?" I ask him.
"I think you can do anything if you put your mind to it" he says loud enough for me to hear. I smile at him. He stares right into my eyes and I can almost see the gold in them. "Umm... when can we do this?" I ask.
"The next full moon we need to leave... it takes a couple days, 4 at the very most"
"OK... I'll do it" I reply.
"You will?" He asks.
"Yes... I will" I say smiling.

---

One of the camp councillors come up to me at dinner. " Can I have a word?" He asks.
"Sure" I reply. I follow him behind the cafeteria building and up to the first tree. "Alright, are you feeling OK?" He asks.
"Great... why?" I ask.
"Your sister and dad just died and your feeling great?" He asks.
"I'm trying not to think about it too much" I mumble, my smile fading.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" he whispers.
"It's fine. I'm OK" I tell him. He suddenly pushes me against the tree and his hand slides up my thighs. "What the hell are you doing?" I yell in horror.
"You know you want me to" he whispers in my ears.
"No! I don't!" I shout. I try to push him away but Stefan said it would take a couple more weeks for my strength to settle in. He leans against my chest. "STOP!" I yell.
"Stop struggling" he mutters.
"Get off me" I yell as he tries to pull my top off. The guy is suddenly pushed right into another tree. "What the fuck are you doing!?" Stefan yells at him.
"Just having some fun" he says smirking.
"Fun? FUN!? You think sexually harassing a girl is having fun!?" He shouts.
"Oh come on she wanted it! She followed me!" He chuckles.
"Yeah but only because I thought you wanted to talk to me about staying for the rest of summer!" I exlaim in shock.
"Get the hell away!" Stefan growls. The guy looks terrified and suddenly runs off. I fall into Stefan's arms and start crying. "H-he tried to..." I start to say but I can't even finish my sentence. "Shh... it's OK... I've got you" he whispers. I bury my face into Stefan's chest and cry for a long time. I didn't even realise that he had carried me back to my bedroom. It's unbelievable to think that Stefan is only 2 years older than me. He's always worked at this camp. I look up at Stefan and he's staring at me. I stare back at him for a while. "Why are you staring at me?" I ask.
"What?" He asks suddenly coming back from his own little world.
"You were staring at me" I tell him.
"I'm sorry" he mutters.
"Stefan are you OK?" I ask him. He hesitates for a long time before finally shaking his head. "No...not really" he mumbles.
"You wanna tell me what it is?" I ask.
"It's just... its this girl... I've liked her ever since I first laid eyes on her... I knew straight away that I wanted to be with her but I don't think she looks at me as anything more than a friend... I'm just someone she can trust and nothing more... but I think I'm falling in love with her and I can't stop myself" he whispers. I stare at him thinking for a moment that maybe it's me but then I change my mind. A guy like Stefan would never like me. I'm just a girl to him. Nothing more. It doesn't matter if I agree to join his pack. I'll always be just another girl to him. I stare at his handsome face. I never really noticed before now how gorgeous he really was. I never actually thought about it. He suddenly stands up and goes to leave. "I'll see you later" he whispers.
"Wait" I say and grab his hand. I stare deep into his eyes and I totally forget what I wanted l say. Stefan starts to lean in and so do I but then I stop at last minute. "I'll see you tomorrow" I mutter and push him out the door. I sigh as the door shuts. I just got the chance to kiss him and I just blew it. Fuck! What is wrong with me!?

---

I stare at the ceiling in the dark. Lola and Fern are whispering to each other but all I can think about is Stefan and how we almost kissed. I try to ignore it by shutting my eyes and finally letting myself fall asleep.

"Wait" I say and grab his hand. I stare deep into his eyes and I totally forget what I wanted to say. Stefan starts to lean in and so do I. Our lips meet and my heart skips a beat. His lips or full and soft. He pulls me close to him and whispers in my ear, "I love you, Shadow"
I smile and go onto my tiptoes to reach his ear. I kiss his ear and whisper back to him. "Stefan... I love you too"
I can feel him smiling too. I don't know how long Stefan has felt like this but I know I've felt like this for a really long time. And summer was the only thing I ever looked forward too, because I knew that Stefan would always be there.
"I love you" he whispers again.
"I love you too" I mumble.
"My 3 favourite words... I love you" he chuckles. I giggle.
"Mine too... I love you" I say quietly.

I open my eyes slowly and see Stefan sitting next to me. "Hey" I mumble.
"Hey... how are you today?" He asks.
"I'm good... what about you?" I ask.
"I've been better" he mutters. I nod.
"Yeah... me too"
"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Lola, Fern and Jenny are going to be covering for you while you're gone" he tells me.
"Umm... OK" I say quietly. He looks at me concerned.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"I'm just scared... I don't want to break my bones over and over until it hurts so bad that I can't even feel it anymore" I say, my voice shaking.
"I know... and I'm not saying it won't be hard... but it will definitely go by faster than you think it will... It'll just seem longer because of the pain... But you'll be alright" he whispers.
"I will?" I ask.
"100% OK" he whispers.
"Do you promise?" I ask.
"I promise" he mumbles. We sit there for another while. But then he stands up and leaves. When the door shuts I get an ache in my chest. I don't want him to leave. I don't want to be a werewolf. I don't want my dad and Caterina to be dead...
But he did leave.
And I am a werewolf.
And they are dead.
It's not fair. I don't everything in my power to keep them alive and then they're just taken from me? That's sounds pretty unreasonable... I want my old life back. I can't even hang out with my friends anymore incase I attack them or something. It's too risky. And besides... Stefan is the only one I want to be with.

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