wasteland - dreamnotfound

Chapter Sixteen

~|George|~ 

The building is terrifying. 

Moss crawls up the bricks on the sides, pulling at the cracks and crumbles. Bits of concrete, glass, and wood lie around everywhere, scattering the ground with a pattern of objects. The windows that remain intact are eerily dark. It creaks with each nighttime breeze that drags through its walls. 

I stay close to Sapnap, who's just as awake as I am. We cower close to the wall, and admittedly at this point I wish I could just disappear.

"What.. What do you think is going to happen to us..?" Sapnap whispers suddenly, breaking the chilling silence.

I exhale. "I'm going to die, Sapnap. And you- You're going to be fine." 

He flinches. "I don't want you to die." He mumbles quietly. I sigh, wrapping my arms around the other and resting his head on Sapnap's shoulder. I feel him relax beside me and for a while, we stay like that, in a protective hug.

"I don't want to be fine if you're not going to be fine." Sapnap says into my shoulder. "I would rather be not fine and still keep you alive." 

I inhale sharply. "No, no, don't say that." I murmur, about to say something more—

When the door to the building practically crashes open, echoing, slicing, through the shaky silence. Both Sapnap and I jump, my back nearly slamming into the wall and my hand lightly smacking his knee. 

I shoot him an apologetic glance, before snatching my bow off of my back and gazing nervously around as I pull an arrow against the string. 

For a moment, silence. 

Then I catch sight of Dream- No, Clay- standing there, his eyes wild with fear behind his mask, which is slightly askew. The shadows cast an eerie darkness across his face, which had once seemed to friendly to me, dusted with freckles.

But now, with the harsh white glow of the inside of the building matching the unsettling paintings of greys and blacks across the world, Clay looks near monstrous, freakish even. 

But I can see past the dark facade, past the practically feral look in his eyes- to see the deep fear, the sadness, the tears that have long built up behind his both literal and figurative mask. 

I can feel my breath catching, filling up my lungs but not able to escape my lips, as he turns slightly and meets my eyes. I can feel them go round as he stares at me, pleadingly, desperately. I can feel the slight shake that reaches my fingertips, making me drop the bow.

"Clay..." I exhale, but it's not enough. He doesn't hear me. 

 I'm not enough. 

I bite my tongue hard, spinning around and burying my face into Sapnap's shoulder as I taste blood. 

I can feel Sapnap's arms around me, tightly, but I want Clay. 

Not Dream, Clay. 

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to hug him tight and pretend nothing in the world was ever wrong. I want to pretend the kiss never happened- And maybe give him a better one- I want to pretend I'm not going to die by the time the sun sets again. 

I want to pretend we never fought. 

I want to pretend these five years never happened. 

A shaky sob escapes my lips, racking through my long weakened body and making me shake from the sheer effort of it. It feels like fire, burning my lungs, my skin, crawling up my throat, licking at the knot in my stomach and scorching it to ashes.