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여덟

In dance class, they spend the first half of the session working on their group performance. Taemin is lead male dancer, and Yeona lead female. The pair dance so well together, their friendship and emotional connection helping their performance immensely. The group dance is a hip hop routine, which is Taemin's genre of preference. Yeona is highly trained and skilled in hip hop too, however she prefers contemporary interpretive, which is the genre she has chosen for her solo.

As the end of semester is only just over a month away, the routine is learnt already, and now their classes are spent practicing and perfecting, with each student having their moment to shine. Yeona assists some of the younger students with their choreography, helping to alleviate the pressure on their teacher. The group run through the choreography several times over, before breaking up and being given time to work on their solos.

———

Yeona stands in front of one of the floor length mirrored walls and looks at her reflection. It takes all of her strength not to burst into tears at what she sees, hating every single part of herself. Her hips are too wide, her waist isn't small enough, her shoulders are too broad, and the way the lower half of her stomach sticks out because she's had a lot of water to drink today.

Body dysmorphia is what she is told it is called, by the psychologist she was forced to see when she was 18. She is told that what she sees in her reflection isn't reality, but she cannot convince herself of that. It hurts, the words screamed at her by her parents, by her dance teachers as a child, and by her peers at school, she wouldn't call them friends.

You won't ever be good enough.

Yeona turns to face away from the mirror, stretching her arms above her head as she tries to centre her mind. Her contemporary dance routine requires all of her energy, her mental and physical body need to be as one. She counts her breathing as she presses play on her music, and turns to face the mirror again. This time, however, she focuses on the movements she is making, and not on the body that is performing those movements.

She performs with ease, using all of her strength to keep up with the beat, the choreography she has designed is complicated, intricate and intimate. Dance is like therapy to her, she is able to tell her story through her body. It is easier for her than speaking, it is less scary than the idea of having to vocalise her inner dialogue.

She barely looks at her reflection, instead focusing on the music, and the almost instinctual moves her body makes. She runs through the song until she can barely breathe, and she slides down onto the floor to take a quick rest when she is done.

"You're so talented, you know that right?" Taemin asks

"Thank you, Taemin." Yeona replies

"I can tell you don't believe me, but I promise you it is true. I think you're really amazing, and I am certain dancing will be your career after college, too." Taemin insists

"I really hope you're right, Taemin." Yeona replies

Taemin sits down beside her, their shoulders touching as they lean back against the mirrored walls. Yeona is really grateful for their friendship, and the fact that although Taemin doesn't know her deepest secrets, he still accepts her, even when she is being really awful.

"I'm certain I am right." Taemin says

"Then what for you? Are you still going to be applying for idol companies?" Yeona asks

"Funny you ask, I have an interview next week." Taemin says

Yeona turns to face him, so quickly and without warning, that Taemin falls into her lap. The pair crack up laughing, but Yeona settles down quickly enough to continue her question.