𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 -ᵐᵃᵗᵗⁱᵃ ᵖᵒˡⁱᵇⁱᵒ

1o

elle's pov✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"hey love." my mum smiles.

"hi." i open the car door and try my hardest to shove the tall boy in, before joining him in the back myself.

"have you been crying? if any bitch was mean i will go in there and fuck them up." she looks at me with a serious face. i assume my mascara is half way down my face but i'm too numb to care.

"i like this uber driver. rate her six stars out of five elle." mattia taps my shoulder and my mum laughs.

"okay." i shush him. "can we just go home?" i ask her with a weak smile and she nods.

mattia lays his head down on my lap. "she doesn't know where your house is if you just say 'home'." he whispers, looking up at me with glossy brown eyes.

he's delirious.

"i should be an uber driver when i'm older, i'd be the best uber driver ever. i'm bad at driving but i've got good music taste." he rambles and i stroke his long, dark, messy hair. i'm being so gentle, even though i want to hurt him as bad as he's hurt me, i know it's not possible.

"i heard you're on the soccer team, why don't you be a footballer when you're older?" my mum asks as she's driving. "i'm louise, by the way."

"nah, there's this girl on my team and she's so much better than me. i mean she amazes me. honestly, everything she does just blows my mind. we're so similar too but we don't always get along and it drives me crazy. it's like i could declare her as my worst enemy one minute but declare my love for her the next. it's messing with my head so much that i'm even getting worse at soccer, maybe that's her aim, to just ruin my chances. see- she's such a bitch." mattia shakes his head, clearly becoming angry thinking of the idea he just put into his own head. "i can't focus or concentrate on anything else. i can't think straight when she's around."

a tear drops down my cheek and he feels it land on his face. he's talking about me and i don't know how to process this. he basically just told me he hates me- and loves me. maybe i did have a small crush when we met, but it died as soon as i found out he was in a relationship. i ignored all the butterflies and suggestive eyes throughout our friendship, for the sake of mine and vic's.

"i hate uber pools." he rolls his eyes and sits up but i just continue to cry.

"how is he this drunk? he's completely out of it, he has no idea who we are. even i've never been like this." my mums face flashes with worry.

"yes you fucking have!" i shout and breakdown even worse. 

mattia pulls me closer and cuddles me into his chest, stroking my hair. "it's okay. you're gonna be okay."

"do you see how toxic alcohol can be mum? not just physically to you, but mentally to everyone around you." i explain, trying to catch my breath.

there's too much going on right now, i can feel my heart thumping in my chest. i never wanted mattia to know about my mothers issues. i never wanted anyone to know.

"we aren't talking about this right now." she keeps her eyes on the road, in shame. "let's just focus on your friend." she states as we pull up to our house.

i help mattia as my mum opens and closes the car and house door quietly so we don't wake my dad.

"sit in the bathroom with him until he throws up. it will happen eventually." my mum instructs me and i listen, too drained to argue about how long it could take. she goes to bed.

he happily sits on the bathroom floor besides the toilet and i sit up on the counter with my legs crossed.

"you need to stay quiet." i say as i turn to face myself in the large mirror and chuckle at the tear stains running down my, once amazing, face of makeup.