There is something lonely in the world right now
I feel like I am being suffocated by the trees
the wind howling
and the thunder booming
I used to find such a peace in such acts of mother nature
but now tonight
I don't find any solace
my heart is heavy or maybe its just my chest
I'm not quite sure I have much of a heart left nowadays
there is something chewing at me
eating at all my happiness
and i think that the past year is catching up to me
the loss
the pain
everything
the one good thing is that i have been able to pour my soul into a book
but is that good
to spend hours soaking myself into another world with hopes that it will make this one more bearable
I have been questioning myself
my mind is thrumming, humming softly,
not its normal sporadic pace
I have found myself falling back into old ways
My head spins dizzily when I stand
did i eat dinner
have I had anything to drink today?
my brain is knocking against my skull, the wind seems to drown me out of the world, with a wisp, like a loose leaf
i play with my hands and chew my lips as i try not to become enraged at those who wrong me
the people who come back into my life to taunt and lie until they skin me alive again
they wait for me to heal
to scab over
before they pick it all of and start over again
like my nails that have been bit to nubs
painful and a reminder of what I feel inside
I have been reading and writing
but still
still my mind screams falsities at me
teasing and taunting at the tender armor that I have left
and when I am home my bones are still stiff from stress
words of hatred barked at my poor mother
and nothing can be done'
everything has been tried but still nothing has changed
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Contemplation
PoetryPoems to feed your soul Some old and new Be wary that the content is raw and open