Self-Reflection

Page 8. The Last Page

Hey it's me. It's been a really long time. Years have pass but I'm still here. I don't know where to start..,, but first let me tell you what happen  to me through out these years. 

I've been living and enjoying my life now. Yes nagawa ko ng maging masaya. Nagawa ko ng maging malaya kaya ngayon I'm doing the things that makes me happy and now I feel contented. 

Napaisip tuloy ako kung bakit hinintay ko pa ang mahabang mga taon bago ko magawa ang mga bagay na ito. I feel na I've wasted a lot of time doing nothing at all!!! But atleast right now, I'm free and happy.

 
Ano nga ba ang nangyari?
Well, that time when I met my family and of course nagkaroon na naman ng fight na hindi mawawala and in that day nasabi ko ang lahat ng sama ng loob ko. I told them how I've been living my life with sorrows and loneliness, how I wanted to be free and be myself again.

 I told them everything without hesitation. I told them till my voice cracked, till my tears dried out and till I don't have anything to say anymore. I don't know what their reaction is as my tears continue to flow but I know they are quite shocked on what I've said and I don't care. I just want to let them know that I got enough of these situations, that I will now live my life on how I wanted it to be. 

They said that everything they do is for me, I understand. I think they are right because of what they did I realized that I don't have to do everything just to be loved by someone, that I don't have to lose myself just to be accepted by those people who don't deserve me. That I don't have to get the approval of many people as long as I have myself and as long I believe.

 And so after that, I decided to go somewhere, a place were I can start again. It was hard and difficult to be on my own but I survived and now I'm happy doing the things I wanted. I also met some amazing people through out my journey, they show me how wonderful and lively our life is and now I feel contented. 

I slowly found myself again not completely but its there. I'm quite lost in the past but luckily I find the right path directed to my true purpose in life.

I'm broken? Yes, but I'll slowly mend it with the help of those amazing people I've met. And this time I will promise that I will not let the past happened again. I will not let someone control my life and destroy me once again. I won't let someone affect and influence me as 'I' is the author and actor of my life. 

And as I promise, me the present Lelaine will do everything to fix myself for the better future. I cannot go back or change my past but I can still do and fix everything on my present for the sake of my future. 

So yes, this is not the end........

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instead it is the beginning of my life story.

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Note: Hello everyone.. How are you? I hope you're doing fine.. I didn't realize that I just finished one of my story. This story has been on my draft for years I just can't finished it since I wanted it to be like my diary so I only write it little by little until I feel that the emotions are there. In short, it took a lot of time since I only write when my emotions are overwhelming for me. 

I'm quite disappointed since the first draft I wrote was deleted and I think it was really a good one because my emotions are really something that time. I think the ending I wrote back then was quite dark since I'm really stressed because of my studies so I'm quite overthinking about my future and so, unlike this one. But I still hope that this ending was a satisfactory one. 

So yes, this was the last page for my first story entitled, Why?  under this book, Life Story.

I will write another story/diary under this book. Hopefully, I'll get an inspiration soon..

So yes, I will not say a Good bye but instead See You Again!!!- Author-nim

Why? 01/26/22