B1 • Philophobia

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The day after Akira saves Vinay from going to prison and before Mrs. Pinto, the bookstore owner, gets into an accident.

aka, when Vinay was still a moody idiot. 

●○●

A wave of regret washed over me as Akira slammed the door on her way out.

I pretty much called her a slut and that was a new fucking low for me. Especially after she helped me yesterday. I'd gone to jail, once before, for vandalism last year. I was literally at the wrong place at the wrong time but no one cared about that. The police believed that I looked like a goddamn criminal and brought me into custody forcefully. And trust me, a night in prison was far from comfortable. And the fact that my cell smelled like days old urine was the least of my problems. Papa didn't even agree to pay bail.

Fucking bastard.

Rubbing my face in frustration I took in a sharp intake.

Honestly, I didn't know what to make of that girl. She was weird but interesting. No one ever gave a fuck about what I wanted. At least not lately, but for some reason Akira had taken it upon herself to try and give me just that.

Akira had a way of punching my buttons and pushing me to do things that really put me on edge most of the time, but she was the first person who had tried to try and look past my walls in a very long time.

It scared me honestly and I hayed the fact that i didn't know what to make of my confused jumble of contradictory feelings.

I chuckled to myself quietly as I pictured her face and tried to memorise it. It was fucking beautiful and I was fucking pathetic.

I thought I had at least a few bits of self respect left after my father had decided to go to great lengths to completely shatter it.

But I suppose I was wrong.

A little attention and concern on Akira's part and I was already drawn to her. It wasn't something I got much of these days. Genuine concern about my wellbeing, I mean.

Fuck!

I needed to do something productive. Go for a run, maybe. Or just go and buy the list of groceries Mumma had texted me to bring for her. It was the least I could do to help her. She never stood of for me against my father but she's the only one in the family who talks to me.

My father thinks I'm a bloody fucktard. I think Harsh is one. And Mumma thinks I'm just a boy trying to take on the world- one against everyone else, and she tries to sympathize with me.

But I hate those pitiful looks she keeps giving me. It's why I am the way I am. It baffles me how my peers think my unabashed behaviour and utter lack of respect for authority is even remotely cool. My own behaviour disgusts me. I've been fucking pretending for so long that I have become this person. And the fact scares the daylights out of me.

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