Just Skip this chapter if you please
This is not a chapter, I just really need to vent right now and this is probably the reason as to why i cancelled the Christmas Party and probably cancelled many things i was planning on doing
I feel like December is just the worst time of the month for me, Its just that.. My school didn't gave that much homework and modules before but now that it came to December which is the Christmas month, The time school is supposed to be closed and the time that i promised myself so many things
Every single thing has been harder and harder and there was way more homeworks
Not only that but i have to take care of broken relationships, Do you know the song 'Older' By Sasha Sloan? Well my life's exactly like that except the fact that my parents argue online, Worst of all im being pulled into it
I don't know who to trust, Im always so near music that it was the only thing i trust by now
I always thought that my family was fine and normal but realizing how it really wasn't and messed up like some other families breaks me
I would be crying right now if my Mame(Grandma) wasn't in the room right now
My sick sense of humor, Like joking about stuff that sounds disturbing is when i got hit by realization that im like this because of how broken i am now
I was 10 heck, No i was around the age of 6-7, When i knew about cheating, abuse, rape and other shitty stuff but i always thought it was nothing
I knew about dark shits just at that age, Realizing now it wasn't all nothing
Those were the things that brought people to suicide, I even remember how i always giggle or smile about seeing people have a break down or even getting tortured because i grew up knowing it and got taught that those were nothing
Its rare to see me cry and if i do cry then its probably because i got yelled at, Yelling wasn't something i grew up with so hearing that somebody raised they're voice at me makes me burst into tears
I also got raised with technology because now i realize that they only gave those to me, Is to distract me from all the fights happening in the household
Now i can't even get split with my phone and if i do, I will only stare at the wall not doing anything
I can't be forced to do any home work, I just feel like my phone is the only thing that's there for me, Its my only way to get away from this sick reality
There's more i wanna vent about but, I'd rather not talk about
Also if any of my Online Friends (Luci or Trish) are reading this then no worries, Im fine! I just need to vent!
I know that everything i said doesn't really makes sense much or im just over reacting but lets not forget that people have different reactions to things and im one of the people who can't really handle my situation but i know somebody is out there that is living a bad life
I just wanna say to people who is having the same situation as me or have a bad life then understand that things get better! Im here for you and so are the others, If you need somebody to vent then you can text to me on discord (Same name and profile) or talk to me on Wattpad Messager, Im often many times to be honest
Sorry for disturbing everybody who reads this by the way, See you on the next chapter i guess?
