BURNING RED

Chapter 19

COLDLY

Nagmadali akong umuwi sa bahay namin. I wanted to see Nana and Scott. I wanted to feel their warm embrace. I wanted to hear their soothing voice that calms me down. I wanted them to tell me everything would be alright..

Alam ko na kahit ano pa ang maging desisyon ko, tatanggapin nila. Na kahit ano pang pagkakasala ko, hindi nila ako basta basta huhusgahan..

With my tears streaming down my face, I looked for Nana. I found her in our kitchen. I suddenly felt safe. Home at last.

"Mama.." my lips trembled as I called her.

She dropped what she was holding in surprise when she saw my tears stricken face.

"Joi! What happened?"Her voice laced with worry.

"Mama...Mama, I killed someone. I killed him."I said repeatedly while sobbing.

She pulled me into her arms and tightly held me.

"Joi, I can't understand you. Please calm down."

"I'll call Papa okay?" She guided me to the couch and ran to the phone to call Papa.

I leaned my head against the couch and squeezed my eyes tightly. My mind wandered back to the hospital. To her room.

Hindi man lang ako nakahingi ng tawad sa nangyari sa lolo nila...

Dahil sa selos at kasakiman ko, I brought them pain and had lost their loved ones.

I was a killer. Murderer.

I felt the couch dipped beside me then Mama's arms pulled me closer to her soft body. Her warmth.. her scent.. she could only calm me down. My Mama. I felt tired so I rested on her chest.

"Please Mama. I don't want anyone here." I begged softly.

"What about Bryce?"she said worriedly.

"Especially him Mama. I can't. Please. Don't let him see me."she just embraced me tighter and caressed my hair. I felt empty and my heart so heavy.

Then darkness consumed me.

I heard faint voices talking. When I opened my tired eyes, I saw Mama and Papa sitting on each side of my bed.

"My dear.. I'm glad you're awake." Mama said. My eyes started to blur again when I remembered what happened.

"Mama, Papa.. I-I killed Megan's grandfather. And I almost k-killed her too." Sabi ko habang nagsisimulang humapdi ang aking mga mata

"That's not your fault. I've heard about the accident last Saturday morning." Papa stated then held my hand to console me.

"Bryce should be the one to pick up Megan! She called him that night! But I didn't tell him. It's..It's my fault." I cried while telling them what happened.

"It's the other party's fault dear.. I watched it from the CCTV."

I looked at Papa. "But if I only told Bryce about Megan's call.." Guilt was eating me again.

"You need to broaden your mind. Please, you can't blame yourself all the time whenever someone close to you got into trouble. It's not the way in life. Everything happens for a reason. And clearly this isn't your fault." Mama said then pulled me.

I hugged her tightly as she tried to talk me out of it.

"I'll talk to Bryce too if that would ease your-" i cut Papa off.

"Please no! I went to the hospital. I went to see Megan. Her lifeless body was lying there. I felt awful. And Bryce took all the blame for me! I can't associate myself to anyone! I always tend to bring them bad luck. I hate myself!" I screamed like mad. I was going out of my mind. I hurt people that cared about me. And I couldn't let them suffer just because of me.