[COMPLETED] A Little Too Personal (Googleplier x Reader)

2//Fast Learner

Your POV.

"I am Google IRL. I am your personal assistant."

I didn't need an 'assistant'. I don't need help with anything, except on the farm, or help with shopping, but even then, I can still do it myself. I just want this man - Google IRL, I guess - out of my house. I don't know where he came from, and I'm certainly not going to take a chance with him and let him stay. He could be a spy for all I know, or just some drugged out dude thinking he knows everything. That phone thing, however... that's interesting how he knew I'd get a text... No time to think about that, he's driving me insane by doing nothing!

"Well, Speak! Say something! Do... do anything!" I get in his face, all the fear and anxiety sliding off of me. "DO SOMETHING!!!" I push him and huff. Google IRL does nothing about it.

He does, however, change his creepy smile into a neutral facial expression, and looks down at the shield in his hands.

"Scanning..." He says, flipping the shield once or twice. I watch him. He doesn't seem to mind. Either that, or he simply doesn't care.

He stops for a moment, then looks up, pulling up Amazon on that same holographic screen, like the text message screen.

"Woodquail Bat and Shield, Bamboo Self Defense Night Stand, Safe Bedside Table, Gift Idea..." He's silent for a moment, and the screen pops away. He looked back down at the shield, his expression changed into confusion. "Gift idea?" He looks up at me, then back down to the shield. "Oh." Google IRL stares at it for a moment, then puts the shield in front of him, looking straight at me again with a more pleasant smile. "Gift idea."

I stare at the shield, and take it with care. "Uh... thank you...?" I look back up at him, and his pleasant smile is still splattered on his face. "You're welcome." He replies.

I don't know what's up with this guy, but he must be on some serious drugs. I looked at his shirt, and in the middle of it was a 'G'. It glowed red and blue. What an interesting shirt... How does that work?

"(Y/N)." Google IRL spoke up, spooking me. I guess he learnt my name from the text.

"Yes?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"It isn't polite to stare, especially if you haven't blinked within 7.394 seconds. You are going to ruin your vision and make someone uncomfortable."

"Oh, I'm going to make someone uncomfortable?! Are you fucking kidding?" I toss the shield to the ground. "How about the fact you pulled up that text from my friend earlier? What about the fact you just said... whatever that was about my eyes? Oh, how could I forget- you're a stranger telling me I could make someone uncomfortable when you've COMPLETELY broken my comfort zone by coming from whatever fucking magic-shit that box is!!!" I point at the box and stare at him, my blood hitting it's boiling point. "You tell me right now who you are, or I'm calling the police and having you arrested, you fucking cracked up man."

Google IRL's expression changed. I mean, seriously changed. He twitched a few times before speaking up.

"I am Google IRL. I am your personal assistant sent to you by Google Inc. themselves. I am a prototype of their all new "Google IRL" series, and people who have been involved with Google have been sent a special package similar to me. Looking back on some records, you're the only one to have gotten a Google IRL, the others have been gifted a Google Home Series 4. If I have made my owner unhappy, I must be sent back to Google... immediately..." He trailed off, and twitched. "P-please," Google IRL whispered, looking down at the ground. "... d-don't send me back..."

I couldn't believe what he just said. I felt... awful. Here I am, treating this man like actual dog shit, and now he probably 'thinks' he's gonna get returned. I had nothing to say. I couldn't, really.