SCPs but now with 20% more existential dread

backrooms bullshit

(unedited)

okay so, the backrooms

let's talk homoerotic liminal spaces

Personally, I consider the backrooms a pseudo-SCP, mostly because one, it's the fucking backrooms, and two, because I think it totally could be classified as an SCP, but isn't, because copyright. Cowards.

(note that the backrooms wikidot reminds me of the SCP wikidot. a lot. it's almost jarring.)

so anyway, what are the backrooms? well, imagine, for a moment, that you're seven years old, and you have a vague idea of what the inside of all of those big-ass office buildings look like. that's what the backrooms look like. Kinda. I canonically don't dream, or sleep, so you tell me.

you know when you play skyrim or some shit, and you touch that tree in just the wrong spot, and you end up underneath the map in some sort of untextured hellscape? yeah, that's how you get to the backrooms, but instead of an untextured hell, you just get a bunch of stupid yellow rooms with stupid yellow carpet.

I'm not fond of the color yellow, generally. 

glass-half-full, you accidently clipped out of reality and you end up in the backrooms, what now? well, using one of my many (often times shady) personas, I'm going to guide you out of this yellow wallpaper hell.

okay assuming you're just an average joe, and not SCP-J-PlagueFellow (Who I'm pretty sure is an SCP...or a cryptid....or something), you're probably scared, confused, and uh, confused.

Join the club, buddy. 

where you are right now, is what's known in many circles as 'level 0' of the backrooms. 

No need to panic....unless you're not a fan of rooms that look the same, the monotone buzzing of lights and gross-looking, damp carpet. 

Up and at 'em, mate, come on, start looking for an exit. Keep walking and try not to think about the loud humming and that thing you say at the corner of your eye. It's not there. Nothing is. You're alone in Level 0, for better or worse. 

On that note, try not to die of dehydration, starvation, deprivation, or any other -ation. Not until you get to the exit, silly. Six hundred million square miles of rooms to walk though, come on, chop-chop!

Luckily for you, there aren't any monsters, so take your time trying to find a good place to clip out of Level 0. Find a place to sleep for the night (day? night? who knows? I'm tired.) Basic survival tips apply, and seeing as you probably just ended up in the backrooms by accident, it's key that you uh.....don't....die. Yeah, that. 

The best, and to my knowledge, the only way to exit Level 0 is by, you guessed it, clipping out of it. The only way you can clip out is to find....hmmm......maybe a weird looking wall that's a different color than the others...or a patch of carpet that's not damp...just try to find a generally strange place that isn't like the others. that's your best bet.

....Or, just. You know. Fuck around until something happens. Something's bound to happen, right? 

Anyway, assuming you didn't die of dehydration, and you actually found a place to clip out of, I welcome you to the next level of hell.

Uh.