I'm Not Afraid (Clexa AU)

Chapter 1

-Clarke-

This morning was the same as last year. And the year before. The days just feel all the same. I wake up at 6 am and go downstairs to grab a cup of coffee. There is always coffee in my house because my mom is a doctor so she is always working a night shift. I started drinking it when I was a freshman and now I can't function without it.  After the coffee came the general check of my supplies. By supplies I don't mean school equipment, I mean paints and sketchbooks - all my art things that will get me through the year. I have so many sketchbooks each as full as possible with every drawing imaginable. I picked up one of my old sketchbooks and flipped through it. And that's when I saw her. Lexa. The drawing almost brings tears to my eyes as I remember that day. It was a sunrise and we were sat on the edge of the cliff that overlooked the beach and sea.

*Flashback*
She laughed at my joke and smiled. It wasn't even that funny.
"Wow, Princess I hate to say it but if you could be arrested for bad humor, you'd be locked up" Lexa mocked.
"You're so mean to me, you're gonna make me cry" I replied, secretly I love when she teases me.
"Oh don't cry Princess. You know I didn't mean it right. You are the funniest person I know." She tried to backtrack. She's so adorable.
" That's not even a compliment because nobody you know is funny. "
"That's true." We both laughed at that. Lexa's family most knows "refined"  people.
" I forgive you but to make it up to me you have to let me draw you. "
"Please draw me Clarke" she scoots forward  and looks into the sunset, smiling carelessly. Our sunset. They were our thing.

Lexa was my old best friend. We were inseparable. I was convinced that we were meant to be. It's clear that she didn't feel the same way; not that I told her how I felt, I wish I did. She left me before I had the chance.
It was all very sudden. One day she was in class and the next she just never showed up, I called and messaged her non stop but she never answered. She left me. But this was over a year ago and I'm mostly over it or at least that what I tell myself.

I checked the time, it was 7. This was my cue to get ready. I changed into a clingy white crop top and light blue loose denim jeans. I slipped on my converse and walked down the street to the bakery.
"Hey, I'm here to pick up an order, under the name Griffin. It's already been payed for."
Every day one of my friends in our group has to pick up breakfast and lunch for the rest of us. Today was my day and as it was the first day of Senior Year, mine had to be perfect.
My little group consisted of, Raven and Finn, Octavia and Lincoln, Bellamy and Ash, Jasper, Monty and Harper.
I bought them each their favorite sugary pastry food and coffee to eat before school. I ran to the front doors of the school where all of my friends were wandering around. 
"Hey Princess, did you remember the food?" Raven hugged me.
" Of course. You have no faith in me Rae." We all laugh. I hand round everyone's food and in return, they hug me and thank me.

"Come on, let's go into school." Bellamy says.
" No. " Octavia shoots back
"Octavia! You know we have to. It's not a choice, that's what compulsory means. If you listened to your teachers, you would know that." He teased his sister .
"Why would I listen to a bunch of hypocrites who don't even have enough brain cells to control a class? Whatever." she tells him, Octavia has strong opinions but she always gives in
As we all headed inside, we talked about how fun our summer was. Most days we all hung out but we still had so much to talk about. I was fairly quiet as I thought about summer a couple years ago. 

*Flashback*
Lexa laid her head on my shoulder and sighed.
"I'm gonna miss spending so much time with you." She was sad.
" Huh? " I stutter, I was to distracted by her to pay attention to what she said 
"I'm just going to miss you so much" she says
" Oh! You think we're not gonna see each other! Well, we'll message each other and see each other pretty much every day." Lexa and I went to the same school and she was my best friend of course I'd see her. 
"Okay Princess, I'm just going to miss having you all to myself" Lexa says she's smiling again. I was just glad that it took away the frown from her face.
She closed her eyes and cuddled  into my shoulder for a while. It was warm and perfect, she was perfect.

I have so many good memories with Lexa. She was always such a nice person, she was loyal, and honest, she always listened to me and she always cared so much.  That's why it broke me so much when she left randomly without even so much as a message to explain. I didn't get over it for a long time.
"Princess? Are you okay?" Harper was standing with me, the rest of my friends had disappeared.
I told her, "I miss Lexa"
Harper was the only one who knew how I felt for Lexa. She supported me and was the only reason that I made it through the two years without Lexa.
A year ago, I tried to take my own life. I felt so alone without her, like my world fell apart. I couldn't understand why she would do that, why I wasn't good enough to make her stay. Harper guided me away from this dark time and eventually  I realized that the memories of her helped me realize how good life can be, but also not to take it for granted because it could all go. I took Lexa for granted and she left.

Harper gave me a hug and told me that everything would be alright. But I wasn't so sure. This day just felt important and I was unsure why.
We walked into English with Mr. Kane hand in hand. She was my rock, I relied on her for everything.
English was the worst subject ever and I had no fun. It took forever but when the bell finally did ring, I ran from my seat to the bathroom.
I sat on the toilet and was glad that I had made it in time. Tears ran down my face like a waterfall gushing into a river. I use to be strong but since Lexa left me, I have been broken. And broken things can leak if they aren't fixed, and as much as I like to believe I'm over it and that it's getting better, I still miss her so much. I just wanted to go home.
 I wipe my eyes and then I walk down to the office to see if my mom could come pick me up. And then I saw her.
Brown hair. Green eyes.  A black tank top. Black denim ripped jeans. A face that can light up the world. And break mine in half.
I opened the door and stood in shocked as she turned towards me. I think I'm about to pass out.
"Lexa?" I said weakly as the darkness surrounded my visions and took me with it.

Author's Notes:
Hi readers. This is a story written by two people. We hope you enjoy it just as much as we enjoy writing it. We have interesting things planned for the plot of the story. Have fun!
Nicole and Nola.
*This chapter was written by Nicole