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Every morning, I'm staring shadows in the eye Oh good morning, will you just wait until I die?
I walked alongside Rex and Ahsoka, I recalled the many times I've seen this scene and yet, I still wondered. Experience does outrank everything, but it doesn't outrank life. No one has ever died and came back. I almost did once. But either way, experiencing death is something I wished no one had to face. But many of these troopers did. And yet, more come in everyday ready to sacrifice their lives to save the galaxy. And that is honor.
I was brought out of my thoughts by Ahsoka exclaiming, "Um, what's that?!"
"Its the ray shield I mentioned earlier. I saw it on the way in." I said while averting my gaze to the shield as I did. "If that's a ray shield, then that will makes things damn near impossible. Well, kid, you want experience, you're about to get plenty of it."
"Meaning?" Ahsoka asked, a little terrified. "Meaning that there will most likely be dozens, if not, hundreds or even thousands of droids lined up behind it. And with that shield up, they can break right through us. We need to warn Obi-Wan and Anakin." I explained, looking to Rex.
"Then we should go." ----
I sat off to the side, meditating and focusing my mind. Today I was going to be fighting alongside Rex and Cody and the men of the 501st and the 212th. I felt excited because as I've said a million times, its like a dream I never want to wake from. But there was also the dark side of all of this. I would have to watch men die in front of me when I try to protect them the best I could. I would have to watch men die when they try to protect me the best they can.
Its a scary thought. But I remember my dad once said that some things are out of our control. Whether we like it or not, there are some things we can prevent and others, like death, its something we can't always stop or prevent. And that's what scares me sometimes.
"Something on your mind?" I heard, opening my eyes and looking up seeing Cody hovering over me. "Um..kind of."
"Wanna talk?" He asked, lean against a wall with his helmet propped up on his thigh. "I guess. I just..I came through the portal wondering what it would be like to meet you guys, to become friends with you guys and build bonds. But, I never thought about what it could do to me if I did build bonds and they're tore apart because I lost that person. I'm saying that I'm afraid, Cody. I may seem strong or brave or whatever you see in me, but I'm really scared."
Admitting someone is scared is difficult for some people. They don't want to seem weak or they don't want to seem vulnerable. But me..I'm willing to admit it. I was the type of person to cut myself off from the entire world. I always isolated myself and since there was a virus going around back home, it was a given opportunity for me to stay away from people.
But my mom always told me that I need to open myself up. Whether to make new friends or express how I feel, I just need to talk to someone. I guess it really helped.
"Well, you're brave enough to admit your scared, maybe..you can try and be brave with anything." Cody assured while I shrugged and sighed. "I hope so. But like my dad once said, some things are just out of our control."
"Your father is a wise man." I chuckled, shaking my head. "Yeah, wise and old."
"Ha! Glad he's not here to hear you say that." Cody laughed out while I rolled my eyes. We heard distant shouts nearby and we both looked to each other then towards the direction of the commotion. "What's going on?"
"Not sure. Let's see." Cody held out his hand and I swiftly grabbed him, himself helping me up to my feet and we made our way back to the debriefing area where there I saw Rex throw his helmet on and run off in the opposite direction.
"Obi-Wan? What's going on?" I asked while coming up beside Obi-Wan as he continued to focus on the holomap. "We're going to hold the droids off as long as possible while Anakin and Ahsoka make their way to the shield generator."
"Okay, how long do you think we have?" I asked, looking at the map and at a large red dot that resembled the droids. "Not a lot of time. We need to get into position. Cody, when you find Rex, he'll brief you both on what we're going to do."
"Yes, sir. Come on, kid. Let's get moving." I followed Cody as we ran in the direction Rex went, exhaling sharply, knowing we're going to win this battle. ----
"So..Padawan Ames and General Kenobi will be stationed here with myself and several others. Cody, you'll station yourself some of your men here on the other side. We need to hit from both sides." Rex explained while pointing out different points on the holomap.
"I can provide a distraction, if that will help." I offered, but Rex shook his head. "No, its best if you stay behind your cover to keep you safe."
"Actually, Kayla is right. A distraction can keep their scanners off of you and focused on a direct target. So here is what we'll do. Kayla will provide a distraction, once the shield passes over all of us, fire with everything you got. We get one shot at this. Understood?"
"Sir, yes, sir!" Rex acknowledged, but not before quickly looking to me. "Kid, you up for this?" I looked from him to everyone around me, most were waiting for my answer, some had left already, but I nodded with confidence as I turned back to him. "Yes. I'm ready. Let's do this."
