Playboy ▷ bakudeku ✓

thirteen | mother knows best

"how was it?"

i lazily poked at my mashed potatoes, resting my head on my hand.

it was all confusing, really.

"zuku?"

my mother called out to me, snapping me out of my thoughts about what had happened at the game.

are we even friends anymore? i mean he kissed me! this whole situation is just so confusing! on one side i have someone who's acknowledging my presence and then on the other it's just a boy who's toying around with my emotions!

i sighed, looking up at my mom and humming waiting for her to pop a question.

"what's wrong? you seem drained, did something happen at the game?"

you could say that—

"nothing important, but it's something else."

my mother and i were really close to one another and i could practically tell her anything, but was i really going to tell her about my relationship issues?

"would you like to talk about it?"

i studied her face, worry written all over it as she pushed her plate aside and focused on me.

"it's just—what do you do if you like someone and they don't like you the same way like that, but on the other side there's someone that you just became friends with and they expressed how they felt?"

My mother furrowed her eyebrows, trying to form my question into a way it made sense for her.

"well,"

she was hesitant, making me anxious.

"don't waste your time over someone who doesn't acknowledge your feelings towards them. i know crushes are hard to get over, but it's just going to drain you emotionally and as your mother i don't want to see you go through that,"

she smiled gently at me.

"the bottom line is, give this new person a chance,"

she passed me a small bowl filled with brown gravy. i took it in my hands and poured some of the gravy that i had forgotten to put on my mashed potatoes.

"what's the worst that could happen?"

What's the worst that could happen?

I hated that saying.

Groaning, I face planted into my bed slowly curling up into my covers.

maybe it was a good idea to stop thinking about katsuki and move on from my silly crush that's obviously going to go no where with him.

i lazily rolled off my bed and to my desk, grabbing my journal and a random pen.

the spine was worn and it had a little dip from when i would carelessly fold back the front cover.

little notes from all my classes were scattered across several front pages, making it look like an average school journal. but upon flipping to the back is where i wrote personal little entries and small doodles from when i was bored in class or at home.

the dates on some of the entrees dated back from last year.

playing with the clicker on the black inked pen, i read over these entrees i made from when i found out i had feelings for katsuki.

nearly all of them had something to do with how hot he is. it made me cringe slightly rereading the scribbled ink.

maybe it was time to make an entree, just to get my feelings out so they wouldn't be all carelessly jumbled inside me.

january 11th 2021

there's a lot of emotions swarming around in my head at the moment. All in which involve the one and only katsuki bakugo! no surprise there on that one! the thing is...keeping a secret from your best friend is tough and i'm scared how she will react. i mean, to tell her that i'm in love with her brother? she's going to freak out and not in the good way! another thing is...we kissed. like actually kissed! then on the other hand i kissed shinsou...TWO BOYS! how does that even happen?! so, yes i am stuck in a traffic jam. i am hopelessly doomed and will be taking this as i write to my grave!

sighing and looking at the scribbled heap of shit in from of me, i decided to close the journal back up and placed it right back in its place on my desk.

"i will be forever doomed if anyone found that journal."

i mumbled to myself. maybe i should lock it up, away from any sight of humanity.

then again i still have notes from chemistry that i really need to study.

___

- 781 words

OMG I DID IT! Slowly my writers block is going away 😌✨

also...i was thinking about getting rid of my fanfic Daddy..um if we have any takers— 😅

i'm completely at a loss with it omg but ya.

thank you so so much for reading..and waiting for my slow ass to update 😌💕

ALSO! HAPPY (way to belated) NEW YEAR! 🥳🥰

i hope everyone is enjoying the new year! 🥰

anywayss imma head out of this fanfic and hope that i can continue to update it 😅

have a cookie for completing the chapter! you deserve it!

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chapter 14 →