Coworkers, all I want for Christmas is you...to not talk to me before 9am.
The awkward moment when Santa accidentally leaves the price tag on your present.
Only a few shopping days left before you find yourself buying gift cards from CVS.
Me: for Christmas I want a boyfriend. Santa: Let's be realistic.
You are all that I want this Christmas! but I wouldn't mind a car, diamonds and some cash too!
People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?
My grandmother got hit by a reindeer . . . that i was driving
That awkward moment when Santa has the same wrapping paper as your mother
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
That awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and walks right past you
i did not attend his funeral but i did send a letter saying i approve of it
You have permission to take a bath with my hairdryer
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder - it would be an apocalypse.
(not all are mine)
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weird sayings
ЮморTHIS STORY WILL GO ON FOREVER this is just a bunch of weird sayings i or others made up.they can be sarcastic funny or make no sense at all.
