The Flu Outbreak of 1963

First Day

In Mayberry, Sam and Andy were in town and they saw Barney sleeping on a bench.

"Just look at our deputy, Sam. Sleeping like a baby" said Andy.

"Yeah... when he should be doing his job" Sam said.

"Sam, do you happen to have lipstick on ya, honey?" said Andy.

"Why do you think I'm wearing a shirt with ammo pockets?" Sam said taking out her lipstick.

"Could I borrow it?" said Andy.

"Why?" 

"You'll see"

Andy took the lipstick and put some of it on Barney's face while he was sleeping.

And right after that, a man parked his truck right next to a fire hydrant and Barney woke up.

"Barney, isn't parking a truck that close to a hydrant illegal?" Sam said.

"Yeah. I better tell him to move it" said Barney.

Barney walked up to the guy and said "Hey, Joe. Ya gotta move your truck away from the hydrant. Will ya?"

"Sure, Barney. Sure" said Joe eying at the lipstick on Barney's face,

Joe turned back and said "Hey, Barney!" then threw him a kiss.

Andy and Sam tried so hard not to laugh.

"What's with that Joe Waters? He just threw me a kiss" said Barney.

"Well, I don't blame him, Barn. With that lipstick all over your face, you do look kinda sweet" Andy joked.

Barney looked at his face in the window and said "The two of you are full of fun today aren't you? Why not go to the elderly's homes and wax the steps?"

Andy and Sam high-fived each other and laughed.

Just then, another man strutted over to them. Andy seemed to recognize him.

"Well, I'll be dogged. Howdy, Bert!" Andy said to this man.

"Hi, Andy" the man said back.

"Bert, this is my new officer. Sam Pan. Sam, meet Bert Miller. He's the best salesman in town" said Andy.

"Oh. How do you do, Bert?" Sam said.

"How are you, Miss Sam?" said Bert.

"Worried but good" Sam said.

"Bert, I haven't seen ya in a while. How you been?" said Andy.

"Middling. My feet been troubling me lately and I got bursitis in my shoulder from carrying that suitcase around. Got so I can't stand the sound of them doorbells" said Bert.

"So that's how it is selling stuff here" Sam said.

"Honey, not everyone has rich guardians" said Andy.

Barney came out of the store with his face clean.

"Hi, Bert! Good to see ya" he said.

"Hi, Barney" Bert said back.

"Bert, I s'pose our young officer would like to see what you're selling" said Andy.

"Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't. I don't wanna appear pushy" said Bert.

"No no no. It's fine. I'm not that officer. I mean, if you ran into my friend Calvin, it would be... yeesh. Cause, y'know..." Sam said.

"Bert, do you have any razor blades? I'd like to buy some" said Andy.

"Well, alright. As long as you need em, Andy" said Bert.

"Do you have any socks, Bert? Size 10 1/2?" said Barney.

"Yeah, but I'll give you size 11. They're just as cheap and it appears you're still growing" said Bert.

"And I s'pose Sam would like to buy something too" said Andy.

"Huh? Oh! Um... d-do you have any flu medicine? There's a serious outbreak going on where I live and my friend is suffering in it so I need medicine for him" Sam said.

"Are you sure you want to buy medicine just for your friend, my dear? I don't wanna force myself on you" said Bert.

"Yes, I'm sure. The outbreak is the main reason I got into this job" Sam said.

"Well, alright" said Bert.

"Thank you" Sam said buying the medicine.

Looks like Sam's making strides on her job.

But what about Murray? She doesn't know he has the flu.

Let's see.

Peace and love,

Sammy