Seoul Lights | Bangchan

23 ; Avoid

I feel better now.

Days passed when Chan confessed. When I also confessed. But somehow, it makes me deep in thought most of the time. Whenever I wouldn't be working, my mind always comes back to the moment he placed a kiss on my forehead.

It brings back a wave of memories I wanted left behind.

But it makes my heart warm for some reason. Maybe because it was Chan who did it. My mind's been fogged out recently, and I didn't know what decision to make. How did my heart end up getting tangled in his fingertips?

"Dae Young? Hey, Dae Young! Earth to Dae Young!" Jisoo waves a hand in front of me.

I was having lunch at the cafe nearby. I was seated beside the glass pane where I could see the people walking by. I was eating with Jisoo since I didn't feel like eating at home. Why? That place reminded me of the kiss.

I was avoiding Chan for some reason. Maybe it felt awkward. We don't know what exactly we are yet. We aren't a couple, but we aren't "just friends" either. It confuses me. But that isn't really the reason why I'm avoiding him. Is it fear? It's one way to say it.

I'm willing to commit for him, I'm sure of that. I'm sure that I can give him all I have and surrender myself to him. But something is holding me back. Doubt? Probably. Fear? Absolutely. I fear that he might get tired of me and leave me. I fear that one day he'll stop feeling this and the promise "always" would just end up being just a word.

Everytime he would come near the marketing department, I would hide my face from his walking figure. Why? My face would be a blushing mess.

It's been so long since I felt this way for someone. It's almost as if I'm completely new to it, that's why I'm having a difficult time to adjust to these new feelings and handle the overwhelming emotions. I don't know how to face Chan yet.

"She's leaving earth again!" Jisoo snapped her fingers in front of me.

"Oh! Sorry, I just...um...Was thinking of something." I say, making Jisoo raise an eyebrow.

"Really? Are you sure you aren't sick anymore? You haven't been speaking like usual ever since you came back to work." Jisoo said, while Lisa nodded beside her.

"Yeah, I'm not sick, don't worry." I smiled it off, making Jisoo raise a suspicious eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, something definitely happened." Jisoo said, "Maybe a crush?" Lisa added, leaning forward, giving me a smile.

"What? Hah...No."

I know it's no use when I lie. It's way too obvious. But all I have to do is try.

I can't let them know what Chan and I had in my bedroom. Wait. That sounds wrong. The thought of it made me place a hand on my forehead. Somehow, it made me smile knowing someone feels something deep for me.