IMAGINE WANTING LOVE | kpop multifandom ✓

summer lovin' - nct jaemin [suggestive]

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summer began with your smile, a grin from ear to ear, then a ruffle of your hand through your messy and wayv locks. within a glimpse of all your beauty, i was suddenly pulling myself towards you, unknowingly filling my own selfish thoughts with you instead.

well, you, na jaemin, you gave me courage to step a little closer with the subtle glances and touches here and there. you brushed the hair out of my face and swiped it behind my ear and whispered how beautiful i am. you saw the rose-golden glimmer shine across my cheeks from the sun and pressed your lips to my sunburnt skin.

hot summers were known in this area, this was the beach after all. your beach house would be full most days of the summer, though, you and your friends would party and hang out all night. i was never invited but i didn't mind it.

every night when the moon releases its light upon the ripples of the ocean, you'd leave the beach house and meet me by the docks, leaving your friends behind. even under the moonlight you are just as lovely, maybe even more. special, that's what i thought every time i laid my eyes upon you.

i remember the first time you kissed me. it's a summer evening, the coldest summer this area has ever seen, yet you still suggested to go swimming. the sun had set and the moon hadn't gotten ready to display itself fully just yet. you pulled me into the water and i felt the coldness surround us as i shivered.

you laughed and swam towards me. first it was your warm arms, carefully guiding my waist towards you. the water was cold but your hands were warm. i then let myself fall into your embrace. i could see the goosebumps on your skin, indicating that you were freezing just as much as i was, but your warm smile made up for it.

you told me you didn't like swimming when it's cold and i remember asking you why because we didn't have to be there. you only laughed then, but i didn't know what it meant. you weren't hard to figure out, na jaemin, but you were harder than most. only looking back on it will i know that swimming in the cold would make you feel more human with my body, just as warm as yours, up against yours.

you didn't even hesitate to do it, to even ask if i was okay with it. my longing gaze on your lips told you enough. before i could lift my lashes, you kissed me in the water and a rush of heat filled my whole being. i was nervous and so were you because amidst the dark sky, rose was our colour. your lips, your cheeks, and mine.

that night i told myself i was going to marry you. that summer was quick and if i could go back to experience it all, i would, a thousand times past. i thought i'd never see you again, jaemin, and i was right because after i left, your beach house was sold. when i came back, you were gone; but even when the sun sets and the moon barely rises, i still go swimming, on cold summers here and there because i want to feel just as human as you.

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[19:38]

"i can feel your heart beating against me," he whispers as we stand still in empty waters, not a single soul alive tonight and out on the beach. "are you sure you're not cold?"

"oh, no, believe me, i'm so cold," i respond and he chuckles, his chest retracting. "but i still want to be here with you."

he shakes his head at my stubbornness, "we don't have to do this if you don't want to, you might catch a cold in the morning, or worse, i could."

"that sounds personal," i add before he pouts, "fine, tell me why you like swimming in the cold so much."

i think of summer and how it was back then with him. i think of the feelings i shared with him, the memories spent under moonlit skies talking about the us and the world. i think of how human he was and how human he made me feel.

water ripples around us slowly even though we were barely moving, "i don't know, i just feel alive—i mean, the water's cold—i can feel warmth resonate from me and you. what's more human than that?"

"for me, it's the way i can feel how wet you are against me. god, and the way you're wrapping your legs around—" i push him and swim backwards away.

"na jaemin, if you don't stop right now i swear i'll swim back to the beach house alone!"