▪︎° I Didn't Think. (Levi x Reader)

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TW. MENTIONS OF ED, SELF HARM, AND ABUSE. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
yall KNOW I'm a slut for angst - kay
(unedited, I'm also a slut for being lazy)
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"Levi?" Your voice was soft, gentle as you approached the door to your peers dorm for the second time today.
In your hands was a silver trey; contents of dinner and steamy tea made just the way you knew he liked it.

He hadn't been out ever since Erwin recruited him, ever since the mission where the other two cadets he came with were brutally killed.
He didn't like anyone, but he tolerated you the most. At least enough to come into his room. Every day, twice a day, you'd bring a hot meal up to his room and sit beside him while he ate.

Some days you had to force feed him. It was so tragic, everyone knew how good of a solider he could be.
Erwin was lenient, he understood the change and grief Levi had been through, at least enough to allow him to skip out on pretty much everything for the past two weeks.

Your boots clicked harshly, unforgiving against the dark oak wood into the dorm. Once opened, you sat aside the trey and lit a small candle.
Levi wasn't asleep, he was tossed over facing the wall. He hadn't showered in days, his hair was visibly greasy. You had to take care of him.

Levi wasn't used to being seen, but you saw him. That's why he let you touch him. You saw his expressions, his pain, and let him have his time when he needed it.
You were also the only one who could make his tea correctly aside from him.

"Levi? I brought dinner." You tried being gentle, picking up the food and sitting it beside his bed. In one swift move he had turned over, puffy eyes meeting your own (E/C) ones.
He sighed heavily, looking you up and down before taking a peice of bread off the trey and eating it.

"I know you don't want to hear this," You began, sighing and letting your eyes fall to the other side of the room. "-But you need to bathe. If you want, I'll help."
He only let out a small 'tch' whilst sipping on the tea. "Are you sure you're up to the task?" He asks, eyes drifting away from you. Your brow arches, "Yeah. Why?"
Levi merely sits the bread down, seemingly full, and stands from his bed.

He looked weak, his figure was shaking in a way- but not noticable enough if you didn't know him well.
"Let's get this over with." His voice seemed to detach, as his eyes did when you all went into the bathroom. Running warm water and every so often checking the heat with your pinky, you watched as Levi sat down on the edge of the tub.

Your hand made soft contact with his shoulder, letting him know what your next move was. Simply you began to take off his shirt, pulling up from the hem and over his head.
When done, there were mounds of scars. You could see his ribs, that was unlike him. Some scars were newer, some older, all seemed intentional.

"L-Levi.." You sounded almost broken, your cold and nimble fingers tracing along the edge of each one.
"If it scares you, just leave. I can bathe myself." Once more he sighed, letting you know it really did hurt his feelings at the thought of you leaving.

"Why would I do that? You're not scary, you're Levi." When you spoke these words he looked up to you, seemingly enough with hope.
Then, he stood up and removed his pants. You covered your eyes as he dipped into the hot water, soaking himself thoroughly.

When you uncovered your eyes, the bath had suds and the steam was thicker than before, enough to block out anything he didn't want you to see.
"I'm going to shampoo your hair now, okay?" You wanted consent with every step, making him relax into the trust of the hands that fed him.

"Whatever."
You strained your hands through his hair, lathering it with soap and carefully massaging his scalp. You could see his eyes were much more dead than when he first arrived, but in this manner, he looked nearly peaceful.
After he rinsed off, and dried off, getting dressed as well- you both sat back down in his bedroom.

He gave you a small comb, letting you  rake it through his raven locks until they were soft and knotless.
You sat the wooden comb down onto his desk, standing up and looking over at the neatly organized trey with leftovers and dirty dishes.

"Well, I better get this down to th-"

"It can wait." Levi wasn't facing you, no, he was once more eyeing the wall. His muscles were tense again, you could see it through his shirt.
"What do you need?" You spoke in a polite manner, as to approach the situation with caution. He was strong, but everyone had a breaking point, and you absolutely didn't want to be his.

"Could you.." He stopped for a moment, straightening his back and tilting his head to the ceiling in annoyance of what seemed to be himself. "..Sleep with me? Not in that way- but, hold me? Just for t-tonight?" His voice was a whisper, raspy and barely coaxing out of his throat and off his tongue.
You smiled, sitting all things on the trey back down and slipping off your boots.

When he turned around to check if you were still there, you had already been leaning forward to wrap your arms loosely around his waist.
Levi let you touch him, he let you see the bad parts in all, even if he didn't want to. He needed someone, and you just- understood him better than anyone else had.

Your soft breaths, slowly falling into sleepier heavier ones, let him rest easy that night. He liked your warmth, and most importantly- he liked you.

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