Under My Skin

Happy Together

I spent all evening in the kitchen that day. I really wanted to make him something special for dinner. I know he's been having a tough time at school lately. I can't imagine what medical school is like, but I understand that it's not exactly a walk in the park. It's stressful. And though he's the smartest person I know and more than capable of succeeding, he gets stressed pretty easily. Well, he's already succeeding. He's at the top of his class, he's quite good at what he does. It just comes at the price of quite a bit of stress. Not to mention that he works mornings on the weekends, too. He deserves a nice dinner made for him, not just takeout.

I know it's nothing fancy, but I made him eggplant parm. I can't work with raw meat, but I know he likes eggplant just as much as I do. I made everything but the pasta from scratch. Even the sauce. It was a few hours' work, but I honestly like cooking, if it's for him.

He came home late that night, giving the door a knock before trudging in slowly

"Connor!" I cheered as the door opened

"Hey.." he mumbled

"Where- Where were you? You were supposed to be home at four.."

"I got called into work last minute." He rubbed his tired eyes

"Oh.. I wish you would've told me"

"I know, I'm sorry Baby.. I had to leave right when school ended.. I should've called you, though.. I'm sorry."

"It's okay.. it wasn't on purpose.. but you're here now.. I made dinner!"

"Awh, thanks Kev.. that's really sweet, but I already ate at work.."

My smile faded.

"..B-But it's eggplant parm.. I made it just for you.."

"I'm sorry, I'm just not hungry anymore, Kev." He sighed, hanging his jacket up by the door "I think I'm just going to go to bed.."

"But you love eggplant parm.. y-you always love it... why don't you want it- are you mad at me?" Tears pricked at my eyes. I know it's stupid, really, I do. But it really did hurt.

"No, Baby, I'm not mad at you.."

"Then you're sad..?"

"I'm not sad, Kev."

"Then why don't you want it? I-I made it just for you.."

"I'm just not hungry, Sweetheart, that's all.. I'm gonna go to bed, okay?

"But I made you dinner..."

"I'll eat it tomorrow, okay, Kev?" He placed one kiss on my temple before heading upstairs to bed

My heart sunk.

I walked back to the stove and shut off all the burners, sniffling back the tears that formed.

I try so hard to be understanding, I really do. But sometimes I just don't get it. I know he's stressed and all, but the way he acted, I couldn't help but feel.. rejected, almost. Like he didn't want to see me, he didn't want to talk to me or eat the dinner I made just for him. He didn't want me.

I sat down at the table I'd set for us in the corner of the kitchen, in front of one of the two empty plates. I hung my head.
It was only a matter of time, wasn't it? Before he grew tired of me. I knew it would happen one day, I just didn't expect it so soon. But I guess it was sort of bound to happen. Everybody grows tired of me.

Perhaps it's stupid. But I couldn't help it. I just felt so brushed off. I'm someone who's very needy, I need to talk to him, I need to be with him, I need to know he wants me. And I just felt like... an afterthought. He never called me on his way to work to tell me he'd be home late, he never even tried the food I spent all evening making for him. He never even said goodnight. He just went upstairs, we hardly even got to talk. I had news, I had things I wanted to share with him. And it was like he didn't even care.