80's Oneshots Galore

16 - Evil Bill and Ted headcannons - Trashing the relationships? Not easy

A/N - Taking a quick break from my Lost boys request book and now currently obsessed with two things: Cyberpunk (Johnny Silverhand) and Bill and Ted. Also this was originally going to be named crushing on their Dopplegannger's girlfriend or relationship malfunction ❤❤❤

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Evil Bill

- Bill was intent on trashing the relationship, so intent that he had planned some truly drastic measures to make that happen. Using your voice first for effect on the nicer twin, a harsh breakup then leading their pussweed selves out and dealing with them first had been the plan until he caught his eyes on you. Sure you were no Missy but he knew you meant a lot to Bill, plus you were fairly bodacious to look at. The first thing he would think when he see's you whether that's a photo or from afar would be something crude. He's evil! What did you expect.

- It starts off almost like a cheesy movie. The plans slowing to a still as he had his fun. Whenever nice Bill left your side, he saddled on over and took his place. It was fun for him and he was trully being an inconsiderate jerk with you too. At first he told you to kiss him and it wasn't such an unreasonable request until he tried to mount you which was also quickly de-escalated. In fact every little thing like that had been foiled. Evil Bill was most irritated that it hadn't gotten to you although he rather enjoyed making out with you. There were only a few times where it went as intended. Bill was supposed to come shopping with you, give feedback on what dress to get for the rock off but only Nice Bill wasn't informed of this so guess who shows up? Evil Bill. He made a comment about weight, knowing that one was a classic dick move and it worked. It didn't feel as righteous as he thought it would. Maybe Denomolos screwed up his receptors?

- The relationship was on thin ice and it came time to really throw it under the bus. Evil Bill was programmed for it and knew the next move. Killing their goody two does counterparts and burning it all to the ground. He enjoyed that part more than being an ass to you but it also meant that he had free reign 24/7 with people being none the wiser. Even when you question him about certain things, he brushes them off, planning to reveal it all at the Rock off for trully devastating impact.

- Taking his place had Been a circuit scrambler for him. The feelings Bill had were there but so was the more evil programming too. Evil Bill gets ready for the big Rock off, as Evil Ted trashes the relationship with Elizabeth too soon. Maybe they didn't need to kill her just yet? Anyway it gave Evil Bill more time to really reap the rewards of a girl friend. He was less of an asshole but still more demanding and pushier than Nice Bill was. He liked the indignant yelp you gave when he slapped your ass or tried to cup your breast. Very inappropriate when be could. When you finally question him what the hell is wrong with him, he just plays dumb. Evil Bill was having so much fun and it didn't help that he malfunctioned a few times when he had gone too far. Was he becoming a pussweed? Sure he hadn't apologized but he had left it alone when you shoved his hand off from your inner thigh.

- It doesn't last too long especially when his block gets knocked off at the very last second by his nicer twin. Now he wasn't going to kill you like planned, no he couldn't bring himself to go that far despite Evil Ted's jibes. Overall the feelings hadn't been around long enough to develop further and especially not work on now that the real Bill was back.

Evil Ted

- Evil was all he knew so why did he feel like such a pussy around you? After they had gave the boot to their nicer selves and screwed up their parental relations, the next thing left was the girlfriends, you and Joanna. Bill had already gotten to her whilst Ted was unable to get you. It didn't help that you never stayed still enough for him to do any damage, you were almost never with Joanna to hear about her whining of how much an asshole Bill was being and you were always moving around doing stuff and going places, it was a surprise to him how you were supposed to be dating him.

- When he wasn't giving feedback to Denomolos, hanging with Evil Bill or scheming, he was thinking of how to get you. The very few times he had actually managed to be a bit of a dick, in the sense of him making you pay for your own slurpee, getting too handsy in public and blowing you off last second at a date. It hadn't fazed you like he hoped. You were too understanding or maybe you had too much of a life than he expected. They had downloaded all the memories, basically the whole brain with a few tweaks here and there but he didn't remember you acting like this. Cursing under his breath as he was foiled again, preparing to head round to the your flat and wait for you. Later finding out manh things had started up and timing was wrong. College classes, band practice with Elizabeth, shopping trips, cooking and a part time job got in the way. The stuff Nicer Ted would have understood but not Evil Ted. The way he thinks about it is if you're his girl, he has a say and he wants access 24/7.

- When you returned, the flat was a mess and the fridge raided. To top it all off, Evil Ted had been lounging on the new couch with his boots propped on the table. The usually excited grin on his face there like how you remember but it soon drops when he takes you in. The outfit you had been wearing was particularly tight and rather tempting to someone who barely got to see any action. Eyes visibly rake your body, not hiding it as his hand palms his jeans. It was the only way he could test how much he could get away with. It only takes seconds for a fight to ensue with you yelling at him for the state of your flat. It goes on for a while with him being an ass about it until you tell him to leave and a wild grin appears on his face as he can't help but pull you into a kiss. Not letting you pull off until the last second of needing air. Evil Ted was sporting a robo chubby and had second thoughts about trying for anything else until you basically shoved him out the door with a harsh break up. Success!

- Evil Ted wasn't sure how he was going to go about this or what he wanted to do. Sure the plan worked and he ruined the relationship but now he was wondering if he should have tried to drag it out, maybe get another taste of you. Nice Ted liked you but Evil Ted was curious about the other things, unfortunately there was not enough time to fulfill those curiosities with the Rock off occuring round the corner, the final show.

- Like Evil Bill, he too meets his end with a removal of his head. Before he even caught the chance to take Ted's place properly that was. Before he had kicked the bucket or more accurately a bucket kicked him, he was sure he could drag it out for a few more years once he got around to explaining himself.