𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 ~ 𝒛𝒅𝒉

Chapter Twenty-One: I guess it's what everybody thinks

"Okay, this is what I had in mind."

Zach and I are at the park, sitting against a tree, trying to come up with a plan.

"Tell me." Zach smiled, playing with the bracelet on my wrist. His soft touch stroking my hand makes shivers go all the way down my spine.

I try ignoring the distraction, and focusing on the plan. "So, I don't think it's a great idea to break into Jonah's house. I suggest we find a way to sneak in his garage, that's where his tv and other stuff are. He once told me the key to the back door is in a blue flowerpot, so it has to be easy to get in. At least when everything goes as planned," I explain.

He murmured something, his eyes still focused on my wrist, a smile playing on his lips.

"We have to make sure we sneak in when it's dark, because we can't risk getting caught," I continue. "Last time things got way too close, so we have to keep our heads straight. This time we won't be as lucky, we can't run now."

Zach mumbled again, now stroking my hair behind my ear, over and over again, still with that smile on his face.

"Zach!" I laugh as I see him snapping out of his thoughts. "Have you heard a thing of what I've been saying?"

His cheeks colour. "Yeah, of course."

I raise an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that?"

A silence arises. "Okay, you got me," he eventually admitted, grinning widely.

"Come on, Zach, this is important! You have to focus," I laugh, nudging him in his ribs.

"I know, I know." His smile becomes even bigger. "But how do you expect me to focus when you're sitting here in front of me?"

Now it's my cheeks that are turning crimson. I have no clue what to say, so I quickly try to hide my face, covering the blush on my cheeks with my sleeves.

Zach notices, a corner of his mouth lifting. "Don't hide that pretty face from me." He scooped a little closer, softly taking my hands off my face, replacing them with his own, which are now cupping my cheeks.

I immediately lose myself in his eyes, like someone else is taking over my body and I lose every bit of control. That's what happens when I'm with Zach. I lose control, break my own rules, but I don't care. I would break every rule to feel this way forever.

My cheeks are now burning like crazy, I wouldn't be surprised if he felt their warmth underneath his hands. He's getting awfully close now, the space between us reducing every second, as our bodies lean in to each other, inch by inch.

But we have to focus. This plan isn't over yet. So I clear my throat and quickly turn my head away, breaking the eye contact. "The plan, Zach. We have to come up with a plan."

"Right." With red cheeks he scratches the back of his neck, a grin playing on his lips. "The plan."

"So.." I wanna start again, but all my focus is gone. It left when Zach scooped closer. "We have to.. We got to.."

"What do we have to do?" Zach's voice now sounds soft, barely even a whisper. His smirk clearly gives away he's trying to mess with my head.

And it works. "Screw the plan," I mumble, more to myself than to him, and reach out for him. I crash my lips onto his, and clearly Zach was planning to do the same, because our lips immediately connect and move in sync. He claps my face in his hands, his touch fierce but still gentle.

My heartbeat is pounding in my ears, as I lock my arms around his neck, not a single moment where our lips break apart. Zach's hand slides from my cheek to my back, wrapping his arm around me to pull our bodies closer. This is where I belong. With Zach.

But as much as I would like to keep feeling his lips on mine, things have to be different this time. I want things to be different. Serious.

So I slowly break our lips apart, completely out of breath, but still cupping his face. "I want to take this slow, Zach. I want you, but I need time. Time to do this right, and to not rush us," I whisper, gazing into his brown eyes. "Is that okay?"

A smile lights up his entire face. "That's what I want as well," he said breathless. "Don't worry, this has to go slow. After all, a kiss should mean something. I don't wanna be just another one, you know, like all those boys."

Those words feel like a bullet in my chest. "What's that supposed to mean, Zach?"

"Oh God." His eyes widen, followed by his head shaking, as he seems to realise what he just said. "I didn't mean it like that, Harley."

But I've already pushed his face out of my hands, creating distance between us. "I know what you meant." My voice sounds bitter. "You think I'm easy, right? That everything I do is just slutting around."

I should've known this is how he thought about me. I should've known he would judge me.

Panic flashes through Zach's eyes, as he tries reaching for my hand, which I immediately pull back. "That's not what I think. Come on, Harley, the words just came out wrong. I meant that your past relationships were more casual, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it can't be possible every single one of them meant something to you, right? If one of them even meant something."

"Wow," I mutter in disbelief, flinching a little because of his words. "So you don't think I care about others? You don't think things like this mean something to me?"

"Shit." Zach runs his fingers through his hair, desperate in his eyes. "I'm just screwing this all up. You know that's not what I meant, I don't care about past decisions you've made."

"Yes, you do." I jump up, grabbing my bag. "Otherwise you wouldn't judge me or assume things."

In a fit of rage I start running to my bike, fighting back the tears. "Harley!" Zach is close on my heels, running after me, but I jump on my bike and start cycling as fast as I can, leaving him behind.

"Harley!" Zach calls one more time, but it's too late. The hurt is already done, the tears already shed, and my heart already broken.

Of course I let myself feel things for a guy who thinks I'm incapable of doing so. I should've known. I guess it's what everybody thinks.