#29

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Your lazy ass writer is here again. But this time i have an actual excuse except my mood swings and writers block. I lost this account for a while, i went into a long episode of what if i never get to see u guys again and continue this story but then i actually fixed stuff and i'm back :3. Ready for another chapter?

I've been obsessed with the new Japanese drama on Netflix "alice in borderland" and with the guy with the gun ugh HOT.
......
Days passed silently and slowly after that. Chase gave me the silence treatment and zack was not in the mood to hang out so i stayed most of the time in my room preparing for exams. I sometimes eat outside with leela and Atticus. And then i sometimes cry myself to sleep in my room. These few days are so chaotic and harsh on my soul. I still think about what my father did, what i did and all of the sudden my depression wave come crashing and my mental state goes bankrupt.

Exactly like now. I layed myself on my bed wearing the same pair of pyjamas for 3 days in a row. I've been listening to podcasts and sometimes music. My eyes were baggy from my weeping episode last night and my stomach rambled announcing that it will start eating itself if i didn't sacrifice a sandwich right this moment. Thus, i gave myself a quick pep talk so i get my ass up and head for the kitchen.

I padded my feet on the wooden floor of our shared apartment towards the kitchen. I fixed a quick sandwich and plopped myself on the sofa. There was nothing interesting in tv or Netflix so i just layed after eating my sandwich looking towards the rooftop thinking of how miserable my life became. Maybe i should've moved on when i had the chance. maybe getting little bit away from chase can make me feel better. I sighed "what a joke" i mumbled "i can't get away from chase he lives just under my skin".

This young man drove me to the brick of depression while in hight school. Still driving me crazy in college too but in other artists ways. I swept my fingers above my sensitive buds for a feeling that i found myself missing. His lips , his fingers and other facilities i appreciat swept through my mind, drawing perfect pictures of what i once tasted. Flashbacks came rushing to my distorted self bringing delicious heat with it and gorgeous memories ; the panting , the moans and groans. The feelings of being full , connected and warm. I found myself craving the delicious friction but before i make my thought into action. The keys on the door jingled.

A sight of frustration came out so abruptly i didn't have time to hold it back. Lucas and damiar faced me in the doorway wearing the same look. "I didn't think you would be here" Atticus mumbled "i thought you were with your boyfriend".

I sighed and plopped back into the sofa "unfortunately" i said.

"Hey" binkro came towards me plopped himself next to me and leaded my head to lay it on his leg. Brushing my hair out of my face he laughed "don't worry " he stroked my scalp "i'm gay".

I laughed and jabbed him with my hand on his tummy "unfortunately" i said "you would've been the perfect boyfriend". At that Atticus cleared his throat so i apologised dramatically "sorry" i said and looked damiar in the eyes and whispered "not sorry".

"Why aren't you hanging out it's a beautiful day outside?" Atticus asked after he plopped himself on the sofa too and drugged my legs on top of his legs so we can fit on the sofa perfectly.

"Nah" i mumbled "i don't feel like it".

"What if u went with us?" Damiar said "we came by to get some stuff and we're heading towards the ocean" he stroked my hair gently "would you like to go with us".

"I don't feel like being the third wheel" i mumbled.

"Hell ester" Atticus says faking his shocking voice "when did u ever".

I rolled my eyes on him and jabbed him with my leg. A finger curled into my chin and dragged it so i can look damiar in the eye. "Come with us" he said "having a little bit fun with sinners like us makes you problems seem a little bit easier".

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