All the words I've wanted to say but couldn't.

6. what does that make me?

I never had the urge to write about you
I don't know why I guess you don't affect me like I thought you do
How do you see me after all I've done?
I caused you all that pain and did nothing but turn and run
What does that make me?

I've been deceitful and untrustworthy of your love
What is it you can't get enough of?
The lies I utter even after you have me scream your name?
Is it the way I turn from you and welcome another with no shame?
I know what I've done but I never accepted the blame
What does that make me?

Somehow I put it all on your chest
Because everything was always the same
From waking up in the morning till we laid down to rest
We did the same things over and over again
While what I did was not the best
What does that make me?

4 years and I felt stagnant and lost
I wanted change; how much was the cost?
We didn't have enough to make the change
My ego came to the podium and my heart went backstage
Now we have all this hurt, pain and rage
Because I was too selfish not to stop
And you still never gave up
What does that make me?

To watch your heart bleed but stab it some more
For you to be so certain and for me, so unsure
To watch you give all of yourself to me so easily
For me to say "that's not enough for me"
To watch you cry and feel no emotion stir inside
For me to cower away and hide
To watch you express yourself with hurt in your eyes
For me to stay silent and accept the goodbyes
What does that make me?