Edited on: 12/07/2023
Updated on: 12/09/2023
Please Read! Trigger Warning: Mention of Themes of Sexual Trauma, certain imagery related to trauma, mention of abortion, and mention of blood
This chapter contains themes of sexual trauma and certain imagery related to trauma, mention of abortion, and mention of blood that may be upsetting for some readers. Please proceed at your own risk or you can skip to the next chapter.
Aurora's POV
It's been almost an hour, and my therapy session is almost over.
Ever since I finally built up the courage to go out in public after moving here, I've developed a habit of fidgeting with my glove that I have to wear whenever I have to go out in public.
A lot of time has passed but the burn scars on my hand, caused by him, are not completely healed. Everytime I look at it, it becomes a day-to-day reminder of my past and it's like he permanently marked himself like there's still no escape from him even though he's not physically visible.
I still see him in my dreams.
It's still suffocating.
"It's been four years already and you said that you heard nothing about Steven, even though you know that he's still out there. How does that make you feel?" My therapist asked.
"Um... honestly, I try not to think so much about it. However, I also try not to let my guard down. But I feel both safe and not safe at the same time." I said, fidgeting my glove.
"Why is that?"
"Well... I feel safe because we moved here, which is very far away from our old place. My family and my friends are here and we tried to keep a low profile... or something like that. The unsafe feeling part is simply because I know he won't stop and he might do it all over again."
"I see. The good thing is you pointed out the factors why you feel safe which you need to keep in mind. Those factors could help you to focus and forget about the bad things you experienced for a while."
"I guess," I mumbled. "Can I say more things that's been on my mind lately?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"I was sixteen and I should have done something. But I was scared and I'd never been in a situation like that. Well, aside from being harassed by a creepy, pedophile English teacher, what he did was a complete nightmare. Now it's been years and I kept on looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself things like - 'You should have told your Mom about this before things got worse.' or 'You should have called 911 or reported it to the police.' or... in general, 'You should have done something.' I was young and I should have done better but all I could think was that... I was scared. And weak. And I admitted that I was this scared and weak girl who could have done something." I finished letting every thought out and I just held back my tears.
"I understand that. You learned and like what you said you're not keeping your guard down. And speaking of nightmares, have you had any nightmares lately?"
"Well, I had one last night. And it was just horrible."
"A different one or the same nightmare?"
"A different one, I guess. It was just me lying down and then this doctor came out of nowhere and it made me realize that I was in a delivery room, about to give birth to this baby. And Steven was there too. The last thing I saw was a bloody baby and... that's it. It was very horrible."
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