Vera hadn't come back to the town she called her home for years, but the death of an old friend brings her home to the people she left behind and the love she left there. Will they ever forgive her?
From the moment I stepped back into Tulsa I felt sick.
It had been years since I'd been home - years since I addressed my problems and what happened here. I was older now, not a dumb kid anymore, but as soon as I got back I felt like a confused teenager all over again.
I told myself to let it go - no one would probably even remember you or care that you're back but in my heart I wasn't so sure. I shut my car door and made sure to lock it, looking around at the slightly unseemly area I was in. I looked down at the slip of paper in my hand - making sure I had the right address.
I walked up to the door nervously and pressed down on the buzzer. I heard a familiar yet older voice call back. "Vee?!"
I felt a smile tug at my face. "Johnny?" I asked back, cautiously. Before I could even prepare myself I heard someone running down the stairs behind the door in front of me before it was flung open and there stood Johnny Cade. My hand flew to my mouth as I saw him standing there - still that big goofy grin on his face. Oh my god, Johnny grew up. Johnny grew up and looked good!
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We hovered there awkwardly for a second and as I went to open my mouth to break the silence I was pulled into a tight embrace. Slowly I felt my shoulders fall, tension releasing from within me. I couldn't believe it. I was back. With Johnny. I pulled him in to me a little tighter, almost scared if I pulled away he'd be gone.
He smelt like aftershave and pine. Like a walk in the forest. I shivered.
We finally pulled apart and he looked me up and down smiling. "You look exactly the same."
"Don't say that." I laughed a little. "I'd like to think I look a little better than I did as a gangly teenager." I pushed my bangs out of my face and tried to stand a little taller, more confident. Sure I might not have gotten any taller and roughly kept the same style but I'd like to think some things had changed. "You on the other hand!" I said, giving him a sly smile. "You must have a swarm of girls after you. Like Sod-" I stopped myself, feeling my cheeks get hot. I sounded like an idiot. I'm sure things were different now, I shouldn't be talking like I never left and like I still know them.
Johnny waved me off jokingly. "Me and the girls never did really go so well." He tells me. "I try to approach 'em and I just-" He gets flustered. "Never got anything to say."
I laugh, seeing not much has changed then. "So uh..." I say, looking back to my car with my luggage.
"Oh! Yeah! Let me grab your stuff." He says quickly. "Go on up! I'll be right there! Apartment number 4!"
I look up at the stairs nervously. I knew he didn't live alone and I smoothed down my dress, wondering if I was about to be visited by ghosts of the past. Too dramatic? Probably too dramatic.
I knocked on the door before opening and shook my head realizing Johnny hadn't locked it when he ran out.
The place was normal - how you'd picture any bachelor pad to be . There was some take out on the small kitchen counter and a book thrown there as well and I smiled, glad to see Pony was still a reader. I heard Johnny step in behind me and put my bags down. "So." He said calmly. "Where do we start?"
____________
"There's no way." I said laughing and shaking my head.
"He got married two years ago! I kid you not! He's trying to be a father, if you can picture that one!" Johnny says happily yet almost like he isn't too sure about it either. "I'm telling you, Two-Bit is not Two anymore. He's just plain Keith."
It'd only been a couple minutes but I was already constantly surprised by the things Johnny told me. Pony was a teacher - but writing on the side, waiting for his big break. It really shouldn't have surprised me but still, in my head I pictured him as a little kid. Johnny? Johnny was a counsler, working on becoming a full fledge pyschatrist. He wanted to help other people. People who had been abused or had trauma - anything that hurt.
We weren't total strangers. I'd seen him since I'd left. He'd come to stay twice. The first time he showed up at my door in the middle of the night and almost scared the shit out of me. The second time was planned. I'd shown him the city, my life, my friends. It was a little much for him - a little too busy. But still, he enjoyed every minute of it.
"So..." I say, sheepishly. "How's everyone else?"
"You mean Soda? Or maybe Dally?" He asks smiling.
I roll my eyes and feel embaressed. "I'm a little upset you made me even ask." I tell him. "Come on, I gotta know. I gotta prepare myself." I knew I'd be seeing them at the funeral. All of them. All my old friends.
"Well Soda's working with Darry, at Darrys construction company. He's doing good! He's-" Suddenly the phone rings and Johnny holds up his finger - giving me the 'one minute' sign. He steps away to answer and I hear him talking in hushed tones, sounding serious. I wait a minute before I hear him come back into the room and look at me apologettically. "Sorry, it's one of my paitents. They really need me right now - but stay here! Get comfortable!" He tells me as he quickly puts on his jacket. "I should only be gone an hour, then we can grab some dinner or something. Pony should be home later."
"Actually I think I'm going to go out. Get some fresh air." I say quickly, standing with him. I could use a drink. My nerves were still getting to me and I just wanted to unwind, clear my thoughts.
_____
It didn't take me long to find a bar. There was one about ten minutes down the rode from Johnnys and it was all lit up - looked good enough to me.
The bar was dimly lit but better looking on the inside then I expected. It was kind of classic rustic looking - with red velvet looking bar stools and colorful lights hanging from the ceiling. It had to be new because it definitly wasn't around when I was younger - I remember nothing but dive bars. I took a seat and waited paitently, keeping my head down and not bothering to look around too much.
"I'm tellin' you this is the third time this has happened. She's off her rocker." I hear a familiar voice say. I look to my right and a couple barstools down I see Two, shaking his head and laughing clutching a beer in his hand. My heart skips. Two-Bit. Two-Bit Matthews, now just Keith, married and trying to have kids. God, my heart hurt. How had I left these people? How had I missed all of this?
"Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't be eye'n other chicks then, Matthews."
My stomach drops.
I know that voice, too.
I take another look and I can see the back of a tall muscular brunette. It couldn't be.
But it is.
He has a beer in his hand and turns, going behind the bar and dropping the beer under the counter as he grabs another one. I see him spot me and I panic, look away quickly as he comes over. "What can I do for you, tonight?" He says, leaning forward. I freeze. What do I do? I can't ignore him now - there's no way.
I lift my head a little and smile, even though I feel like throwing up. "Surprised you're actually allowed behind a bar, Dal." I say quietly - barely finding the courage.
