Inconsquential Love ((Part Two))

Part 21

 VERA's POV

"I'm glad you're here." Johnny says. He puts his coffee back down onto the table as he looks at me, reaching his hand out to cover mine. "And I'm sorry I wasn't there. But I am now, Vee. Talk to me." 

I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and look back toward the kitchen where Dally is. I take in a deep breath, part of me tired of talking, the other part wanting to spill everything to Johnny the only way I knew how. He always was the only one who I could talk to about anything. He felt like the only real family I'd ever known. Sometimes, the only real friend.

"I don't wanna leave." I say, feeling embarrassed. Johnny looks at me, confused, and I continue. "I don't wanna leave Dally. Not again. I love him, Johnny." I say, surprised at even myself for finally being able to admit to this. I look down as tears start to sting my eyes. It was so much harder to accept, to deal with.  Part of me felt, I don't know, ashamed? Not at loving him, just at being so stupid, taking so long...being with the two of them.

"I know you do, Vee." He says softly. "I think you should do what will make you happy, okay? You can't worry about Soda. You can't put all of that on you. It isn't your job to make him better. That's something he has to do on his own." 

I pull my hand back and feel dejected. It was so easy for Johnny to say this. And it was true, realistically I knew this. The guilt was all-consuming though. How could I abandon him? How could I just move on with Dally and leave him fighting for his life? After what we had just went through...the sex, the rush of moving in, all of it.  "It's not that easy, Johnny." I try to tell him. "He told me he needs me to beat this. That there wouldn't be a point....he said he needs me and especially after Steve....I can't even think about anything like that happening to Soda. I can't."

"Him saying that was manipulative and desperate, Vee. He knew he was losing you and he grasped at whatever he could. You can't put his recovery on your shoulders, that isn't how this works. Shouldn't you be living your life to the fullest? Isn't that what Steve taught us? That life's too short. Soda has an amazing support system. I  don't doubt that you were, or well - are, a big part of his life but you're not his whole life, Vera. He has a family. He has friends. You don't need to make it seem like you're the only person he has - he has us."

Johnny's eyes look up past me and I turn as I see Dally walking in with his own cup of coffee now. His hair is rumpled and he's wearing that robe again and my heart softens just looking at him. He sits down next to me and leans back on the couch, arm draped over my head as if this is the most natural thing in the world. How seamlessly we slipped together scared me. How comfortable it felt. It still didn't feel real to accept that Dally still loved me. That this was actually happening. That I could have a real future with the guy I've been crushing on since I've met him.

I look toward his chest, remembering that night he was stabbed. Remembering the night I thought he was going to die, that I was going to lose him, and how after that we got together almost immediately. What was the point in resisting? We knew what we both wanted - why did we fight it so long? 

Dally looks towards me, then back to Johnny. "So." He says simply. "What are we talking about?" He smirks. He knows that we stopped talking as soon as he entered, he wasn't one to miss things.

"Talking about you." Johnny says, grinning. "Talking about Vera. How I'm glad you two crazy kids finally worked it out." 

"Us two crazy kids, huh?" Dally says, smiling now too. "Gee, pops. Thanks for the seal of approval. What you got going on today, huh? Wanna help me down at the bar? Getting a new shipment in tonight."

Johnny shakes his head quickly making Dally snort. "You're not roping me into that again. I gotta go with Pony to get Soda." He says, catching Dally's eye, waiting to see how he reacts. "He's getting out today. Gunna drive him to pick up some stuff then take about a two-hour drive to take him into a treatment facility."