Inconsquential Love ((Part Two))

Part 10

It's the day of the wake and I haven't seen Soda since this morning. 

Two days had passed since I've started staying here and they kind of went in a haze. I can't count the number of times we've hooked up now - it was multiple times in days. Wake up sex, shower sex, before bed sex, it was almost constant. I was sore but felt high, adrenaline and lust constantly running through me. He couldn't keep his hands off of me, touching my thighs when we were on the couch or slapping my ass whenever I walked past. Any little gesture of movement roused us from ourselves and connected us together - unable to tear each other away.

It wasn't love, though. Nothing about what we were doing was romantic. Most of it was kind of just cheap and dirty - and yet it felt like something I hadn't known I'd been missing or needing. We seemed to be supplying each other with intimacy we both weren't aware we were devoid of.

But now I woke up alone and got ready alone, zipping up my black dress with difficulty. 

A knock on the door made me almost trip in my heels as I rushed to open it - finding Johnny there now. "Hey, this is a surprise." I say, perking up a little. I was nervous for the day and felt better seeing him here, always a calming presence.

"Can I, uh, come in?" Johnny asks. I nod quickly and step aside as Johnny moves past me and takes a look around. Granted, okay, maybe it looked a little worse than before but we were celebrating I guess. We hadn't bothered to pick up or clean or do much of anything other than spend all day in bed together. "Look, Vera, I got something to kind of admit to you." He says, rubbing his hands together nervously. "It's been kind of weighing on my mind lately since you've uh...been here." He said gesturing around.

"Okay..." I say, leaning against the counter in the kitchen. I kind of wish Soda were here now because this felt like something that was going to upset me by the way of how nervous he was. He sits on the couch and avoids eye contact, looking jittery like how he did as a kid.

"So, I guess I kind of had uh, like, an alternative motive for inviting you to stay with me and not exactly telling you about Slyvia."

I let out a sigh. "Johnny, honestly, it's fine. Whatever your motives were I don't care - the whole Dally thing is done with."

"He's come around looking for you, Vee. He really wants to talk to you. He's a wreck, he's so torn up about all of this. If you could just maybe hear him out-"

I wince, trying to picture Dally torn up about something he fully caused himself. "Johnny, are you serious? There's nothing to hear. He's engaged. Which, also, by the way I don't get why you didn't tell me sooner instead of making me look stupid for even talking to him to begin with."

"See, yeah, that's what I was going to admit to you. I knew if I told you about Dal you wouldn't have come. You would've just stayed back in New York and forgotten about him and all of us. You wouldn't be here right now." He says, looking at me a little upset but part of me has to wonder if he's giving me those puppy dog eyes on purpose to make me feel bad - regardless it was working.

Okay, and kid had a point. I probably wouldn't have. There was no reason for me to come back here and endure all that if I had known ahead of time that it was even a thing. 

"And I thought, uhm, I don't know, I thought if you came back and Dally saw you again maybe..."

I feel the confusion crossing my face as I piece this together. "Johnny Cade." I say, using his full name so he knows I'm being serious. "Did you convince me to come back here to try to break them up? Tell me that's not what you're getting at."

He shrugs, still not looking at me. "I mean, it didn't sound like such a bad idea. I thought, ya know, It might work. I don't want him to marry her, Vee he's making a huge mistake and he's my best pal and you know this is wrong. What's the harm if seeing you just kind of changed things?"