Part 20

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I'm going to be honest I have absolutely no idea how this is going to end because I just re-read it and feel like I like her with Soda BUT DALLY ?????? idk man, its gunna be tough.

ALSO HEADS UP I just posted ANOTHER Outsiders story!! This one is just one shots/quick ones of the gang but there will be love and smut and probably other random little things so check that out too if ya like ! 

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SODA'S P.O.V

"Pony, look, I just need some time to think about it." I explain to my brother again. He's pushing for in treatment - a place where I'd be put away until I come out squeaky clean again. It's not that I'm fighting against it, after what happened, after hurting her...I know I need to change. I know. "It's just not the best time for this right now."

"Bullshit. Now is the only time. You're going Soda." My little brother tells me point-blank. I'm still in a hospital bed, sitting up while he sits in a chair next to me. I roll my eyes but he ignores it. "You need to do this now, Soda. I can't...I can't have what happened to Steve happen to you, too." He says, his voice shaking a second.

"Vera just told me she'd stay, Pony. She told Dally she was done. She's going to move in with me, we're going to have a life together. I can't mess this up. I can't leave her now. You get that, right?"

"You've already messed it up, you freakin' hit her!" He exclaims, jumping up, getting mad now as his emotions ride him like they so often did me. The Curtis curse. We hold everything inside until we can't anymore. Until it kills us.

"I didn't hit her! I'd never do that! I just pushed her - I didn't think-"

"You need to get help, Soda. Now. For her, even! You can't build a life with this girl if you're going to be fucked up the whole time! Come on, man, get this through your head!"

I shake my head, knowing why I have to stay. "If I go away again..." I look down at my hands, feeling like shit for even having to say it. "That leaves her alone."

"She'll be fine, Soda. Me, Johnny, Darry, we'll look after her. She can even stay with us if she wants to. We'll figure it out, it's not a big deal."

"You don't get it." I say, sighing, agitated. "She'll be alone. And Dally will be there. I'll lose her again, Pony, I know it. He's been circling her like a shark since she got back. He attacked me because of her. She went right to him as soon as..." I swallow the lump in my throat, knowing I damn near pushed her into his arms. I picture her there with him, bruised and bloodied from me, and him holding her close and loving every second of it.

I can't picture them together. I can't. It kills me. Every time I think about it I feel sick, and yet I can't stop.

I know he'll take any opportunity he can. I know how badly he wants her. And the thought of his hands on her...the thought of him...

"I can't leave her." I get out again, looking away from him now.

"Soda, you're being so fucking stupid right now. If she loves you she'll wait. And I've seen you two together! She'll wait for you, I know it. Just talk to her."

Neither of us speaks for a second. I don't know what else to say without sounding weak, without sounding pathetic. He doesn't get it. I know how Vera feels about me, you can't fake the chemistry we have...but I can't deny I know a part of her still belongs to him. 

But she chose me. And that means something. She chose me. She came back to me. She could have stayed with him, I know he ended things with Slyvia, but she didn't.

Before I can get another word out there's a slight knock on the door and there she is, poking her head in. I sit up straighter. I can't believe she came. I thought after everything, after what I did, she wouldn't be here but she is. 

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