Tragic and Wonder: An Un-Fairytale [On Hold]

Chapter 28- Home

Mr. Lewis headed back to LA on Saturday morning after dropping me off at Grandma's. Grandma was quite thrilled to see him again. She told me about their conversation and that they played some cards while they talked. Mr. Lewis was a blessing in my life, to be sure. I was so grateful for everything that he had done for me that I needed to find a way to thank him. I talked it over with Grandma and she suggested that I treat him to dinner as a thank you. I thought that was a good idea and that I could present him with a gift as well. I found myself looking forward to going back to LA, back to my "new" life. It was a new start for me three years ago and it was beginning to feel like a new start again, only this time, it felt different. It almost felt more real. This time, I felt like I was beginning to believe more in myself, not that I did not believe in myself before. It was simply different this time, I felt different.

I kept thinking back to the words of encouragement that Mr. Lewis shared with me on the plane ride. It was nice to finally feel appreciated and recognized. I began thinking back on my three years working at HL Pathways. I thought about my first day, first week, first year, and how much had changed between then and now. I thought about the loss that had happened within the first few months of working there. I thought about how much Mr. Lewis had changed due to the loss of his wife and child. I could not begin to understand how hurt he was, and yet he was able to overcome the pain. He was still different from how he was when I first started. Eva was an amazing woman. She held a special place in anyone's heart who knew her, including mine. I could not help thinking of how different Mr. Lewis' new fiancée was compared to Eva.

The way Mr. Lewis was with Amethyst Stone, was completely different from the way he was with Eva. I saw the love he had for Eva each and every time he looked at her or talked about her. There was nothing remotely close to that in his eyes with Amy. I could not shake the feeling that there was no love in that relationship, it seemed completely business. Amy was the opposite of Eva. Amy would hang on Mr. Lewis without a care in the world, but there was no love in her eyes, at least not for the man himself. She had her eyes set on money, which bothered me having seen Eva's love for him before. Eva could have cared less about money if he was by her side. Another big difference between Eva and Amy was their trust, or lack thereof, in Mr. Lewis. Eva never once acted jealous of anyone in the office. Rather, she was a friend to all who worked there. Amy on the other hand, hated anyone who was a female. She was threatened by the presence of anyone she thought would take Mr. Lewis away from him. She told me one day to "stay away from him" if I knew what was good for me. She spit venom behind those words, leaving me to wonder how strong their relationship was. She despised me, where Eva had become almost a friend before her passing. There was just something off about Amy that just did not sit right with me. I wanted to talk to Mr. Lewis about it, hoping that I was not overstepping in doing so, but it needed to be said. I decided that I would talk to him about it when I got back to work after my last week caring for Grandma.

Grandma was doing so well. She was doing all the therapy that she had been given. Her recovery seemed to be going well. I was enjoying spending all the time with her. We grew closer than we had been ever before. She was there for me after I got back from Denver, comforting me and making me laugh. She always knew what to say and do to make me feel better. We spent so many nights sitting up late, talking about life, talking about our favorite new books, comparing our reading lists, and simply enjoying each other's company. Grandma was always there for us growing up, so it was nice to be able to return the favor by being here for her now. I was glad that her recovery was going well, and I was glad for our time together, but it was time for me to get back to my life in LA.

The week flew by faster than I imagined it would. By the time Friday rolled around, Grandma was doing her best to hold in her tears because she was sad to see me leave, but there was pride behind her tears. She was proud of the woman I had grown to be. She told me that she knew I was destined for greatness and I had achieved it at HL. She said that I needed to "make sure that boss of" mine knew "how lucky he is." She said that I had to tell him that if she did not get to see her granddaughter for the upcoming holidays, she would fly to LA herself and give him a scolding in front of everyone. I told her she would not have to worry, but she insisted that I tell him. We laughed when told her that I would, but just this once.

I could not believe how far I had come in the last three years. I was grateful for all that had happened after that fateful night and following morning. Without those two terrible days, I would not be where I was. It is amazing to think how much life can change because of one decision, one wrong choice, one mistake. It is sometimes a regretful decision and sometimes it is wonderful. I just hoped and prayed that going forward from that day, mine would be full of wonder rather than regret.

I wanted to be able to move on with my life and live it unafraid of being hurt again. I knew that putting myself out there could lead to heartbreak again, but that is the chance that love takes. You can love someone with your whole being and not have that love reciprocated. That is what happened with Casper, though he never knew that I loved him, at least not that way. It did not start off that way with James, but that is how it ended. I would never find someone who would pick up the pieces of my heart that had been shattered after each heartbreak and put them back together if I did not put myself out there. Going back to LA, I was going to start to be more open about dating. I knew it would take some time to open up about it, but I needed to do it. I needed to break out of the bunker I hid my heart in and not hide it any longer. Mr. Lewis said I deserved the world, and while he spoke what he believed to be true, I did not want the whole world. I did, however, want to find someone who could be my world and one whom I would be the world for them.

Saturday morning came with unwelcomed speed. Grandma rode with mom and dad to drop me off at the airport. It was another hard goodbye, though this time, there was less crying, it was still hard to say goodbye to all of them. It was so nice to be in the same time zone as them. Now, I was going to have to go back to thinking about what time it was back there before calling or texting, so that I would not wake anyone. I was going to miss them all, but I had a feeling it was going to be great for me when I returned to LA. I waved goodbye to them as I entered the airport and turned around with a smile on my face. I was looking forward to starting over again, but this time with a stronger sense of self-worth. I was worth it. I would be happy, eventually, and I was ready to begin on my journey to get there.

The plane ride was nothing short of uncomfortable and uneventful. I could see the benefit of having one's own plane, though I knew I would never have that luxury. I would make sure to appreciate the flights in Mr. Lewis' private jet even more after the nightmare flight back to my home in LA. I decided that after such a hectic trip, I was just going to relax the rest of the weekend at home and take time for myself.

I ordered take-out food on Sunday, not wanting to go out and shop for the groceries that I desperately needed. I decided I would do that on Monday after going to the office for the first time in a month. I also tried to come up with a gift of thanks to give to Mr. Lewis for all that he did for me on the Denver trip. I finally had a great idea, but it would be a few weeks until the gift would arrive, so I had it shipped to the office with a note inside.

The final thing that weighed on my mind was putting myself back out into the dating world. I looked at different dating sites and decided that it was not the right time for that. I felt overwhelmed with all that went into putting up a profile. I would do it when I felt more comfortable with it, until then, I was going to enjoy learning who I was and what I liked. I began to get ready for bed thinking to myself.

Maybe I will get lucky and just bump into someone and that will be our meet cute. Ha-ha! Who am I kidding? This is me after all. I am never that lucky.

Laughing to myself, I fell into bed with a genuine smile on my face, for the first time since I moved to LA. This was going to be a great new adventure in my life, and I was looking forward to what the next day held instore for me.