Inner Predator: Unleashed

Chapter 14

A/N- Happy February everyone! Here's Chapter 14, hope you enjoy! This was a hard chapter to write. I actually have two versions of it, but in the end this felt like the right version to go with. Please don't hate me for the cliff hanger :] 

Chapter 14

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Chase asks as if I really have a choice in the matter at all.

“Unless you’re just going to tell me everything you know…” I trail off with a hopeful smile. Chase returns my smile as he shakes his head, but his eyes cloud. For the last week, every time I bring up what’s going on he gets the same troubled look. So does my father, and Arlo… everyone I ask about it. But they won’t give me any details. My father is the worst because his response is always, “right now, you need to worry about getting back to 100%.” It’s infuriating.

With that, I sigh and push open the door to Mrs. Bellevue’s office. This is her fault, you know, that I’m excluded from all the important information. She believes that until I can talk about everything, I’m not mentally stable enough to handle everything else.

She has a comfortable couch in the room and though she has a desk, her chair is never behind it. The room is actually nice, painted a greyish blue, I find it comforting. Definitely better than white walls. I take a seat on the couch and Chase sits next to me, leaving only a small amount of space between us.

My knees are bouncing so violently I imagine the entire shelter is vibrating. Chase moves his hand and rests it on my thigh in attempt to calm me down. I don’t think that possible though. How can he calm me down when he’s the reason I’m so nervous. I can tell he is too—nervous about what I’ll say. He does a much better job of hiding it though. No one else would notice it at all.

But I do. His eyebrows are pulled together, just a little and he’s sitting up straight, too straight to be normal. Also, his hand on my thigh is a little too tight as if he’s bracing himself for the words that may destroy us.

Before, when I first showed him my scars, we didn’t actually do a whole lot of talking. Then when I sort of lost it at the clinic, they all started treating me like I was so damaged that I didn’t want to talk to him. We’ve been back on track for the last four days, ever since he really fought me, and in that time he hasn’t pressured me once to talk about any of it. Honestly, I think it’s just as scary for him as it is for me.

Which is why we’re having this conversation here, during my scheduled hour with Mrs. Bellevue. I’m hoping she can offer encouragement.

 “Can’t I just talk about how hungry I was?” I say to the old lady. She purses her lips in exasperation. “I’m just saying, my reluctance to talk about it isn’t because of me. People don’t want to know this shit.”

“Aurora, I understand this is painful for you. But you need to be able to talk about it. And of all people, don’t you believe Chase deserves to know.”

I’m staring at nothing but blank space though I can see Chase in my periphery. He almost doesn’t react to Mrs. Bellevue’s statement. Almost. His jaw clinches and his grip tightens. But I nod. She’s right. Chase hasn’t seen the medical report. No one has except the doctor, Mrs. Bellevue, and me. He doesn’t know what exactly was done to me and while I agree that he deserves to know, I’m terrified it will be the end of us.

Mrs. Bellevue holds out a manila file with my name printed neatly at the top. It looks innocent enough but the information found within is nothing short of devastating. I’ve had a couple weeks to think about and absorb everything in the report, but I still can’t come to grips with some of the things they did. I can’t quite understand how I survived it, but I’m certain that many did not. I reach out and take the folder. Everything is says is burned into my memory forever, but it’s nice to have, just in case I forget something.