Not This Time

Jon: December 31, 2013

     There was only a minute or two more left in 2013. People were gathering around the screens and a few brave ones were bundling back up to go out on the terrace and watch the fireworks that were going to erupt. Dotty was hanging on my arm, staying close so that she wouldn't have to come find me when the ball dropped. We were inside, where it was warm, but I could see Nina and her boyfriend out near the railing on the terrace.
     They looked like they were having a casual conversation. The kind she and I used to have where we made fun of each other just for the hell of it. The kind Dotty and I had all the time. I smiled at the thought of it. I couldn't see the future, but I really hoped this worked out for her. She could use it. After the year she'd had, she deserved it.
     He must have said something because she laughed loud enough for me to hear from all the way across the terrace. She shoved him playfully, barely moving him at all. Her smile was so bright and genuine. It was good to see that smile again. She used it so rarely even since she'd gotten her memories back. I had hardly seen it since the 80s. But he coaxed it out of her.
     "They're cute," Dotty said to me. I looked down at her and took a drink of my wine with a nod. She was watching me with that studying look she had sometimes. I knew she was, but I tried not to look at her. Didn't matter, she asked me anyway. "Is seeing them together hard?" My face scrunched up in confusion. "What?" I scoffed, "No!" People started counting down as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me.
     10
     9
     8
     "Why would seeing her be difficult when I've got you?" I said in a low voice, just for her.
     7
     6
     5
     Dotty giggled at me and shook her head. "You always know just the right words, don't you?" she snickered.
     4
     3
     "That's why you married me, isn't it?" I muttered to her, trying not to grin. She smiled back anyway.
     2
     1

January 1, 2014

     Everyone around us shouted "Happy New Year!" as I kissed my wife. It was the perfect start to the new year. There was no other place I wanted to be than standing there, in that moment, holding her close and sharing that kiss. She really was my everything.
     "Happy New Year," I whispered when the kiss ended.
     "Happy New Year to you, too," she giggled, beaming at me. I loved her so much. I could just stare at her all night. She nodded toward the terrace and took a step backward, away from me. "Go talk to them," she encouraged, "We both know you want to!"
     I followed her gaze toward Nina and Cade. He was holding her about a foot off the ground, spinning her around. Even over the fireworks, I could hear her laughing again. Dotty was right; I did want to talk to them. With a smile, I turned back to her.
     "You know me so well," I chuckled.
     Dotty started to turn so she could get back to hostessing the party. "That's why you married me, isn't it?" she joked, taking a step away from me. I grinned and smacked her butt playfully. She jumped a little and looked back at me with wide, scolding eyes that gleamed with amusement. I licked my lips and she scoffed. "Get out of here!"
     I watched her go with a grin and then looked over to where Nina and Cade were standing out on the terrace. I wanted to talk to them, but I was really dreading going out there. It had to be in the 20s out there at this time of night. Nina and Cade were just a couple of the crazy people who voluntarily went out there.
     Finally, I nodded to myself and went to get my jacket from my office. By the time I got out to the terrace, Nina and Cade were back to casual chatting. He was looking at something on his phone. I just barely heard him say what as I approached.
     "Five minutes, and my sister's already asking where I am," he complained. I was coming up behind him, so he probably had no idea I was there.
     "Wow, impatient," Nina agreed, looking up at him with a hint of amusement. Her eyes fell to me and she smiled a little. "Jon!"
     Cade turned with a start and grinned as well. "Hey!"
     "Happy New Year!" I greeted, keeping my hands stuffed in my jacket pockets. I would have shook his hand, but I wasn't going to expose any more skin to the cold than I had to. He didn't make a move for it, either, so that made it easier.
     "Happy New Year!" He responded cheerfully. His excited attitude reminded me of Phil, honestly. The guy was always happy.
     Cade and I both looked over at Nina and she smiled awkwardly back at us but didn't say anything. Cade let out a slightly amused huff at her silence and shook his head, still grinning. He looked like he was about to say something else when his phone rang and, instead he let out an exasperated sigh.
     "Holy crap, Sissy, give me a chance!" he groaned, looking down at his phone again. He looked up at us and apologized as he hit the button to answer it. His words faded as he held the phone up to his ear and walked away. "Hey, chill out! I'm on the other side of town..."
     I looked over at Nina, hoping for some explanation.
     She giggled under her breath. "His sister's birthday started at midnight and she's turning twenty one this year," she said, giving me a knowing look. I nodded in understanding. Stephanie would be turning twenty one this year. She was very, very excited. Nina knew that, of course. I'd already told her that. Nina smiled and shrugged. "That's her big brother. She demands his presence."
     "Oh, so you two are leaving?"
     Nina gave me wide eyes and shook her head. "Uh, no," she snickered, "He's leaving pretty soon here. I'm sticking around and catching a cab home. It is way too soon to do the meeting the family thing. I mean, even you and I were together a whole ten months before I met your parents."
     I tilted my head one way, and then the other, thinking about it. "Well yeah, but that was because we were on tour," I countered, looking over at her finally, "I would have taken you to meet them sooner if we'd had a chance."
     Nina pressed her lips together in a thin smile and shrugged. "Oh well," she said, "too late now." The corner of my mouth tugged up as well and I nodded too.
     "Hey, I'm sorry. Sissy's being a royal pain," Cade chuckled as he stepped back over to us. He shrugged. "I guess she's allowed just for today."
     I blinked and looked over at Cade with a small smile. "Sissy?"
     "My little sister," he explained, putting an arm around Nina's shoulders and giving her a little hug. "Her name is Frances, but we call her Sissy. Her friends call her Fran."
     "And her boyfriend is a dance instructor in the Catskills," Nina mocked. I tried to stifle a laugh at the reference. I hadn't seen it in a long time, but Dotty loved that movie.
     Cade snickered and shook his head. "I gotta go. She's gonna kill me." He leaned toward her and she instantly returned his kiss. "See you later," he mumbled. Then he turned to me with a smile. "It was good to see you again! We'll all have to hang out sometime when I'm not having to rush off!"
     I laughed, "Yeah, for sure!"
     Nina and I both leaned against the railing and watched the fireworks in silence. Or as close to silence as you could get with fireworks going off every two seconds. I glanced over at her as she admired the celebration. Flashes lit up her face and I realized that this was the first time we'd watched fireworks together. If only it wasn't so fucking cold, maybe I could have enjoyed it more.
     "You want to go inside, don't you?" Nina asked.
     "Fuck yes."
     I pushed off the rail and made quick work of covering that terrace. I could hear Nina laughing, so I knew she was following me, but I didn't look back. Only when we got into the house, into the cozy, heated indoors, did I turn to see whether or not I had lost her. Nina was a few steps behind me, still holding her coat tight around her. I motioned for her to follow me and started shrugging my coat off as I picked my way through the people toward my office.
     I flipped the light on and continued in, leaving the door open for Nina to follow. She didn't burst into the room the same way I did. She looked around as she stepped in and closed the door behind her. I was digging through my desk as she crept forward, shimmying out of her coat as well. Ah, there it was!
     "I meant to give you this," I announced, holding out one of the copies of our photo that Dotty had made for me. She stepped forward and peeked at what I was holding out, but didn't take it at first. It reminded me of when I'd brought her that rose on Valentine's day.. I shook the photo impatiently.
     She took the photo gingerly and gave me a small, grateful smile before looking down at it. Her expression changed to surprise for a split second, and her smile returned. She flipped the photo over to look at the paper it was printed on and then looked up at me again with an amused smirk. "This is.."
     "A copy, yeah, Dotty took that polaroid and got it reprinted into some wallet-sized prints for me a few years ago," I explained, "I thought you might want one."
     She almost looked like she might cry. "Thank you," she whispered, holding the photo close to her heart. Sticking the photo in her coat pocket, she walked over to the window and looked out. There was a couch right there, I wasn't sure why she didn't sit down, but she just stood there and watched the partying down on the street below.
     "Have you spoken to Matt or Emma recently?" I asked, turning back to my bookcase so that I could get some wine glasses out.
     "I'm working on it," came her voice. I turned to face her and leaned back on my bookcase so that she had my full attention. "I know Matt didn't mean any harm, but that doesn't mean he didn't do damage." Nina had dumped her coat on the arm of the couch and taken a seat. She sighed. "I still can't spend too much time with them without getting a little bitter."
     I crossed my arms. "Take it from someone who knows, Nina," I said gently, "healing takes time. Don't rush it."
     "Yeah, I know," she replied with a sad smile. I knew from experience how hard it was getting over that relationship. I didn't know what I could do to help her, besides remaining her friend. That's really all I could offer her. She brought her hands up to rub her face and then dropped them with a groan. "I guess we're gonna have to actually start writing that book pretty soon."
     I pulled two wine glasses out of one of the cabinets with a scoff. "We?"
     "Um, did you forget you said you'd help me?" she accused in a teasing tone.
     I stole a quick glance over at her and snickered, "I guess I did! We'll have to get to it sometime."
     I leaned over to look into my wine cabinet. The gold enamel seal of the wine I'd stolen from Nina's apartment all those years ago gleamed back at me. With an amused smirk, I pulled it out to look at it. The last time I had tried to open it, Nina had told me it was a special wine to her. I blinked and frowned. How did I remember that but not telling Nina I would help with that book? God, I was getting old.
     "Would you call this a special occasion?" I asked Nina, still examining the label. When I looked up, Nina was staring out the window at the fireworks.
     "I think the new year qualifies," she confirmed. She tore her eyes away from the window to smile over at me and her eyes fell to the wine bottle in my hand just in time to watch me tear the seal off. "Hey," she giggled, "is that my wine?"
     Wine glasses and just barely the corkscrew in one hand, I brought the bottle of wine over to her in the other. "I took it from your apartment when we got back from tour," I confessed as I sat down, "You said it was special to you, so I stole in case you came back for it."
     "You petty little thief!" she laughed. I grinned too, digging the corkscrew into the cork.
     "Would you like some?"
     "Considering it's mine, yes."
     I laughed and pulled the cork out with a pop. Nina picked up one of the glasses and held it up for me to fill. I poured the white wine into her glass, pulling the bottle away when she gave me a small gesture. As I picked up my glass to fill with wine, Nina swirled her wine around and stuck her nose into the glass. She seemed pleased with the aroma. Once I was content with the amount of wine in my glass, I did the same. It was a fruity bouquet. It smelled good.
     I set the bottle down on the windowsill and smiled at Nina. She smiled back but didn't say anything. For just a moment, there was a bittersweet feeling between us. Maybe some long-past longing trying to surface after years and years. I knew it wasn't just me; something in her eyes said she had that feeling too. Neither of us addressed it though. The music from the party could be heard through the door and the fireworks were still going off outside the window. Without thought, without words, without hesitation, the moment passed. And we just let it.
     "Man, 1435," Nina sighed, looking down into her wine glass. "This wine better be good."
     "It should be," I reasoned, "it's only aged for..." I trailed off to do some quick math in my head. I let out an amused huff at the even roundness of the number. "..30 years."
     "Wow, it's older than me," Nina joked.
     I rolled my eyes and snickered, "Don't remind me." Nina laughed too and looked over at the door.
     "We should probably go back to the party after this drink," she mumbled.
     I nodded, too. "Yeah, probably a good idea."
     Nina smiled and held up her glass. "To happy endings," she whispered.
     I held mine up as well. "And new beginnings."
     "To lost loves."
     "And their crazy, ridiculous, unbelievable stories," I chuckled in agreement. Nina giggled and nodded as well.
     "Yeah. Those too," she said.
     I smiled at her a moment more. "Happy New Year, Nina."
     And she beamed back. "Happy New Year, Jon."
     Clink.