Not This Time

Nina: February 14, 1986

     Old Time Rock n' Roll started playing and I ran over to turn the volume up on my record player, trying not to slosh my gin all over myself. I brought my glass up to my mouth and took a sip as I danced away. There I was, spending another Valentine's Day alone, as always. Normally, on Valentine's Day I would get drunk and listen to all of Bon Jovi's greatest love songs, but in 1986, most of those songs hadn't been written yet. Instead, I had Bob Seger's Stranger in Town blasting.
     I drank some of my gin and started dancing, channeling Tom Cruise from Risky Business. I liked to think that my dance moves weren't as weird as his were, though. Barefoot on my carpet, I slid around my apartment and bobbed my head to the music.
     I was having so much fun, I didn't notice the knock on the door. I didn't notice the door opening and someone shouting at me. I didn't notice them shutting the door, kicking off their shoes, and then crossing the room toward me. 
     "What are you drinking?" Jon's voice laughed as the volume faded. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I turned to look at Jon in utter surprise. Oh God, had he seen those horrible dance moves?
     "Where the hell did you come from?" I snapped, staring at him in wide-eyed horror. Jon laughed again and held up a long stem rose. My gaze fell to the flower and I tilted my head curiously.
     Jon smirked. "I knocked," he assured me, "The door wasn't even latched, so I let myself in." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You should really learn to lock your door," he chuckled. I smiled a little too, still thinking about the dance moves he may or may not have seen. "Anyway," he went on, "I shouted at you, but I guess you couldn't hear me over the music."
     "Sorry," I snickered, "I love that song."
     "It's a great song," Jon agreed, stepping toward me. He held the rose out to me and smiled a little. I tiptoed closer and, with a glance up at him, sniffed the rose while he still held it. His smile grew and he rolled his eyes. "Take the stupid flower, will ya?" he laughed.
     I shot upright and pointed at the flower, holding my glass against my shoulder. "That's for me?"
     "Of course it's for you," he snickered, "Do you see anyone else in the room I could give it to?" He held it out just a little further. I offered a shy smile and gingerly took the rose out of his hand. Jon reached out and took my half empty glass out of my hand. He sniffed the alcohol and scoffed, "Is this all you drink?" With an amused grin, he took a drink from my glass. I watched him grimace at the taste with a shake of his head.
     I smirked and took my glass back from him. "If you can't handle it, don't drink it," I teased, holding the rose up so I could smell it. I turned away and sashayed into my kitchen so that I could put the rose in some water. Jon followed me without a word and watched me go about my business. As I dropped the rose into the vase and filled it with water, Jon opened my refrigerator door and peered in. I smirked at him and shook my head. So that's why he was here, to eat my food.
     "What is this?" Jon asked, pulling a small plastic food container out of the refrigerator.
     I looked over and set the vase on the counter. "Leftover macaroni and cheese," I snickered, taking a swig of my gin. Jon opened the container and peeked inside. He looked up at me with a smirk. I nodded before he could ask. "Yes, you may have it," I giggled. I finished my glass of gin as he pulled the lid off the container and stuck it in the microwave.
     "You want some?" he asked. I smirked at the idea of him asking if I wanted some of my own food. I looked at the microwave and then shrugged.
     "Why not?" I opened my cabinet and pulled out two small plates. I left Jon to dish out the food as I went over to my coffee table. I frowned at the mess and then looked up at the TV tray leaning against my wall. I smirked. That would work. I set the TV tray up in front of the couch and returned to the kitchen just in time to see Jon turn around with both plates in hand.
     We passed each other as I got out some forks and picked up the vase with my rose in it. Jon looked up at me as I joined him over by the TV tray. I motioned for him to set the plates down and he laughed at me.
     "Table for two?" he snickered, doing as told.
     "I didn't feel like cleaning off that coffee table," I sighed, shaking my head and setting the vase down on the TV tray. He went back into the kitchen and picked up my empty glass of gin. I watched as he set that in the sink and looked around in my cabinets for something else. "What are you looking for?" I asked.
     He glanced over his shoulder at me and picked up the bottle of Moscato I had sitting on the countertop. "Wine glasses," he told me as he found the cabinet I kept them in. He reached up and grabbed two. "We're having macaroni and cheese," he continued with a shrug, "Wine goes with cheese."
     I snorted. "I don't think that's what they mean," I laughed as he poured the wine. He sauntered back to me with a grin, glasses of wine in hand, and set those down on the crowded TV tray as well. He motioned for me to sit. With a smile, I took my seat on the couch and watched him walk around the tray to sit next to me.
     He took a bite of the macaroni and smiled like a little boy. "Did you make this?"
     I swallowed my bite of food and thought about it for a second. "Out of box, yeah," I replied. He grinned and shrugged, telling me he liked it. I raised an eyebrow and chuckled, "Thanks, I guess."
     "I went to your bar in Hoboken," Jon began.
     "My bar," I snickered under my breath. It wasn't my bar. I just worked there.
     He ignored me and went on, "They said you weren't working tonight. I was kinda surprised."
     "Why?" I scoffed, "It's Valentine's Day. There is no place I'd like to be less than the evening shift on couple's night." I chuckled a little and shook my head. "It truly sucks to be single in that situation." I took a drink of wine and he laughed slightly.
     There was that smile, too, when he laughed. Oh that smile. I smiled back, but he didn't look away. Instead, he stared, his smile fading but still just barely there. He looked like he wanted to say something. That's when I realized the record had stopped.
     "It's quiet," I stated awkwardly. I stood and uselessly smoothed out my jeans, as if there were wrinkles. It was an odd habit when I was nervous. I went over to my record player. "Did you send Dorothea any flowers or anything?" I asked as I flipped the album.
     There was a pause and then Jon sighed. "I did and she sent them back," he retorted stiffly, "I don't really want to talk about it."
     "Okay," I agreed simply, setting the needle. I glanced over at him, but he didn't turn to look at me. I shouldn't have started that. Ain't Got No Money started playing and the beat took my mind of the awkwardness that was happening between Jon and me.
     When I returned to the TV tray, Jon had finished his plate of food. I stared at his clean plate as I picked up my glass of wine. He followed my gaze and then smiled up at me awkwardly. I grinned.
     "You were hungry," I snickered as I sat back down, "Do you want mine?"
     He shrugged. "We ran through lunch with the writing," he said. I pushed my plate over and rolled my eyes, shaking my head at him.
     "You should have grabbed something sooner," I scolded as he started eating the pasta from my plate. That too was rapidly disappearing. I looked away with a smirk, taking a drink of wine. I knew I probably shouldn't have been drinking anymore, but I wasn't going to turn down a glass of wine that he'd poured for me.
     "Thanks," he muttered. I turned back to him with a smile.
     "Don't mention it."
     I watched him pick up his wine glass and finish off what was left of it after drinking with his meal. He looked at his empty glass for a moment, licking his lips. Then he set the glass down and looked at me with a grin.
    "Y'know," he laughed, "It doesn't taste that bad with the mac and cheese."
     I closed my eyes and laughed. It wasn't even that funny; I'd just had too much to drink. Jon laughed too, but it might have been because I was laughing so hard at something that wasn't that funny. When I opened my eyes, he was still smiling at me.
     He stared for a second and then looked away. I took a drink and then held my glass up close to my face, looking over at him. He glanced at me and smirked, shaking his head. With a deep breath, I finally tore my eyes away from him. I shouldn't have been staring, it was just so hard not to, especially when I was drunk.
     Jon looked over his shoulder at my record player toward the end of Ain't Got No Money. He turned back to me. "Do you wanna dance?" he asked out of the blue. The song hadn't even ended yet, but he was already rising from his seat.
     I looked up at him like he was crazy. A dance? Wasn't that a couples thing? We weren't like that. I couldn't. He held out a hand to help me up, but all I could do was stare at it, stupidly, like it might bite me.
     "Just one dance," Jon asked again. I looked up at him and his hopeful expression. Why did he have to be so adorable? I couldn't say no to that face. I was overthinking it, for sure. What harm could one dance do? With a small smile, I set my wine glass on the TV tray and took his hand.
     Jon pulled me to my feet in the silence between songs. The piano intro of We've Got Tonite started as he escorted me around the couch and over closer to the music. One of his hands held mine out and the other rested on the small of my back, holding me close. The hand he wasn't holding, I brought up to rest on his shoulder. Then we swayed, both looking anywhere but at each other. Eye contact was weird.
     "I know it's late," Bob Seger sang to us, "I know you're weary. I know your plans don't include me." I leaned my head against Jon's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind. "Still here we are, both of us lonely," the serenade continued, "Longing for shelter from all that we see."
     Just like that, what had started out as an innocent waltz position had very easily fallen into something more comfortable. Our hands, which would normally be held out at almost full arm's length, now sort of rested against his chest. Jon leaned his head toward mine. It seemed so natural that it didn't bother me.
     "Why should we worry? No one will care, girl," Bob sang, "Look at the stars, so far away." I could hear Jon humming along softly. "We've got tonight. Who needs tomorrow? We've got tonight, babe. Why don't you stay?" We swayed like that through the next verse. I knew the words, but was too drunk to realize how relevant they were. I looked up at Jon as Bob sang that last line of the chorus again, "Why don't you stay?"
     Jon smiled down at me and started taking bigger steps with the bridge. "I know it's late, I know you're weary," Bob sang.
     Jon spun me around when the background vocalists sang, "Weary."
     "Ooooh, I know your plans, they don't include me," the song went on. Jon spun me around again, but there were no vocalists this time. He made an 'oops' face and we both laughed a little. "Still here we are!" sang Bob Seger, "Both of us lonely."
     "Lonely." We spun again. I couldn't stop grinning. It was just so much fun and he was still laughing.
     "Both of us lonely," Bob sang.
     "Lonely." I threw my head back as we spun this time. He laughed at me as I brought my gaze back to him with a giant smile. We smiled at each other for a moment, me still giggling like an idiot.
     Bob went on, "We've got tonight. Who needs tomorrow." I leaned my head against Jon's shoulder comfortably, still smiling. "Let's make it last. Let's find a way." Jon brought his hand up from my back and petted my hair as we swayed. "Turn out the lights. Come take my hand now. We've got tonight babe. Why don't you stay? Oooooooo-oohh. Oooooooooooh, why don't you stay?"
     The song ended and Jon looked down at me. I looked up because I could feel his gaze. The next song was more upbeat and would have ruined the moment if either of us had been paying attention. I was trapped by those blue eyes. Jon dropped the dance position and took a half step away, but his eyes never left mine.
     Finally, Jon closed his eyes, just for a moment, as if gathering his strength. When he opened them again, he looked straight at me once more and asked, "Can I kiss you?"
     Thoughts flew through my head at a reckless speed. He wanted to kiss me? I hadn't just dreamed that, right? Oh, but no! No, I couldn't! One little kiss might be the stone that shatters his future as I knew it. Could it, though? Of course it could...not, maybe? I bit my lip. That one little sensible part of me was telling me not to get involved with him, but every other part of me, especially the drunk part, screamed yes.
     And before I knew what I was doing, that's what I found myself just barely saying as well.