Red vs Blue: Remembrance

MIA (4)

The Reds continue to fire at Blue Team.

Epsilon: Get down!

Tucker: Man, screw these guys!

Rho yanks out his Spartan Laser.

Rho: I'MMA FIRING MA LAZAAARRRR!

Rho fires a laser blast that hits the ground in front of the Reds, forcing them to duck behind a hill.

Sarge: What in the Sam Hell was that?!

Slade: Sarge, don't tell me you've never seen a Spartan Laser before....

Sarge: Hey, Blue Team! We have come to destroy you in a surprise sneak attack! Surrender immediately before you have time to recover and do anything crazy!

Simmons: Yeah! Like count how many soldiers we have.

Sarge: Simmons, stop helping!

Simmons: Sorry, Sir! I'm really bad at banter.

Slade: Plus, they got serious HO. Is that Rho fella their explosive guy or something?

Epsilon sticks his head out of cover.

Epsilon: Hey, Reds! Go screw, we know you're missing a guy!

Sarge: You know that because you kidnapped him!

Tucker: Why would we kidnap Grif?

Epsilon: I don't know. Maybe they think we have a collection of the most disgusting things on the planet. We need an orange one to complete the whole set.

Rho: (snickering) Than that'd probably make you the crown jewel of THAT collection!

Epsilon: Suck my balls, Rho!

Rho: Hard to do that to a guy that has absolutely NONE! Besides, collecting disgusting people is probably what put you and Grif in this canyon to begin with!

Caboose: Gotta catch 'em all!

Simmons: Suck it, Blue!

Tucker: Get down!

Epsilon: Why?

Tucker: He said "duck it!"

Epsilon: No, he said "suck it!" Why would he say "duck it" if he didn't throw something?

Tucker stands up.

Tucker: Hey, Red! Did you say "suck it" or "duck it"?

Simmons: I said "suck it!" Why would I say "duck it" unless I threw something?

Epsilon: (to Tucker) See? Told you.

Sarge: Give us back Grif, you dirty Blues! What do you want for him?

Rho: What do we want?! How 'bout you jackasses go jump off a cliff?! Not to mention you guys don't have shit!

Sarge: We have stuff, like... wuh, we have a jeep!

Tucker: Dude, are the Reds trying to give us their jeep?

Epsilon: It sounds like it.

Rho: Uh-uh! No way! One of you three will probably just drive the goddamn thing into the base and blow it up!

Tucker: Church, I have an idea. If we can find Grif before they do, we can use him as a bargaining chip to get all the Red Team's stuff!