Red vs Blue: Remembrance

Where There's a Will, There's a Wall (1)

Outside Red Base, Simmons approaches Grif as he is just standing on a hill. Slade is next to them, laying under a shaded tree, napping.

Simmons: Hey Grif, can I talk to you for a minute?

Grif: Not now, Simmons. I'm right in the middle of something.

Simmons: Oh yeah? What are you doing?

Grif: Umm.... standing.

Simmons: I see. How time consuming.

Grif: You know, it really is, you think Command would send us a couple of lawn-chairs or something.

Simmons: I want to talk to you about Sarge. Don't you think he's been acting a little odd lately?

Grif: Uhh, he's been barking orders and spying on the Blues. What's so weird about that?

Simmons: Well, first of all, he's been spying in the wrong direction for three weeks.

Grif looks up and sees that Sarge is in fact looking at something on the other end of the base.

Grif: Wait, really?

Simmons: Yeah. He didn't even notice the Blues got a shipment this morning.

Grif: I don't believe it.

Simmons: I know, I'm starting to think there might be something seriously wrong with him.

Grif: You're telling me I've been pretending to work out here all this time and Sarge wasn't even watching? Why didn't you tell me this sooner?

Sarge: Grif! Simmons! Front and center on the double!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Outside Blue Base, the Blues are admiring a Falcon parked outside.

Tucker: Soo... many. Church we are going to pick up so many chicks. I mean, I know I said that about the tank. But this, this is a frigging helicopter. You have any idea what the word 'pilot' means to women?

Caboose: This is the best Christmas ever.

Tucker: Shut up, Caboose!

Epsilon: Both of you shut up! You're ruining the moment.

Rho: What moment? Christ, you think THIS is the most coolest thing the UNSC's ever made? What about the Sabers and Longswords?

Epsilon: Man, imagine what we can do with this thing...

Epsilon imagines himself getting in the Falcon leaving Blood Gulch.

Imaginary Epsilon: Yes! I am out of here! See ya later losers!

Imaginary Rho: You won't be missed, asshole!

Tucker then imagines himself inside the Falcon as many females jump up and down shouting how much they love him.

Imaginary Tucker: Ladies please, I can't land till all 400 of you make room. It's going to be a pretty tight fit.

Tucker: Nice.

Caboose imagines the Falcon on fire with his imaginary self looking down at the real one.

Imaginary Caboose: I have no idea what I'm doing.

Tucker/Epsilon: DIBS!

Caboose: Present! Ahh, I mean dibs.

Rho: Okay, I am not getting involved in this so I'm just gonna go take a nap under a tree.