Red vs Blue: Remembrance

Shaking the Foundation

Outside Red Base, Simmons works on the now fully built Lopez.

Simmons: There! Man, that safety switch was hard to bolt on. Probably should've gotten a bigger one.

Donut: It's not how big the switch is, Simmons. It's how you flip it!

Simmons: Donut, shut up!

Slade: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! YOU'RE GIVING ME FUCKIN' HEADACHE!

Sarge: Alright, robot's all done! Time to fire it up! Let's hit the ol' power button. Who want to do the honors? Grif?

Grif: Meh.

Sarge: Well said. Donut?

Donut: Sorry. Just clear-coated my nails. I'm not chipping one of these babies!

Sarge: Fair enough. Slade?

Slade: The last time you lot told me to turn something on, I nearly got my hand blown off. No way I'm repeating that experience, mate.

Sarge: Alright...Simmons?

Simmons: It would be an honor, sir! Um, th-that is if you're sure you don't want to do it!

Sarge: Now that you mention it, it does sound kind of fun! I always did like pushing things.

Simmons: Oh...okay.

Slade: Walked right into the door with that one, didn't ya, mate?

Donut: Hey Sarge, what's this robot gonna do for us anyway?

Sarge: Oh you know, the usual robot stuff. Math we don't wanna do...

Simmons: Right, like THAT exists.

Slade: Why do you think we invented calculators?

Sarge: Menial tasks like maintaining the vehicle...

Simmons: Maintenance is crucial!

Slade: In which Sarge realizes that AFTER the damn jeep gets blown up.

Sarge: Organization...

Simmons: Hmm...maybe I should make a list of all the robot's duties.

Sarge: And basically any task that no one wants to do or is part of anyone's official job description.

Simmons: Additional work? You mean like extra credit? No one told me there was extra credit! What is it? I'll do it!

Slade: Would you tone it down on the kissarse?

Donut: Hey Simmons, it sounds like this robot is going to be doing all the jobs you do!

Simmons: Hahaha...yeah.

Donut: Well don't worry. I'm sure Sarge will find some other responsibilities for you! Right, Sarge? Sarge?

Sarge: Huh? Oh right. One of the robot's functions is to answer awkward questions that I don't want to. Better turn him on. (walks behind Lopez) Here we go. Let me just get this panel off, make some specific noise and drop it on the ground. (earthquake starts) Holy guacamole!

Simmons: Ahhhh! Another earthquake! Everyone institute emergency plan! Hold on a second while I put on my marshal's vest! Everyone just remain calm!

Slade slams his fist down on Simmons' head, making him fall to the ground as the quake stopped.

Slade: Will you pump the brakes?! The quake's stopped already.