Sanity

Chapter Eight

Third persons pov

Trust was something she never had, nor was it ever given. Her mother would tell her trust in Christ nobody else, you are not a true Christian if you don't. She tried so hard to build up walls and became successful so why, why now let this boy into her life? Why now? She needs to be saved, boy and girl meet by perfect design, this was planned, destiny  some may say but for her it was her he was her saving Grace. She was his invisible drug he didn't want to see his friend, he wanted her and he knew exactly where to find her. He needed her story, her past, her present, yet he knew she was enclosed, closed off by her own self grief. He was just like her, maybe not on certain grounds but in ways he felt her pain, she wasn't upset looking yet he could sense from her soul, her presence that she wasn't okay, she was broken, and needed fixing but he didn't think he could handle her and her baggage so he pushed her away as she did him, lived like it was no big deal, yet he felt something after so many years of feeling nothing, he didn't know what it was, guilt, empathy, sadness, possibly, but he sure as hell didn't like it and so he pushed her away. He built up his walls so high, that nobody stuck around to break them down, he knew he was a dick head and a big one at that, but he didn't care what others thought he was okay with the way he was, yet why now had he decided to question his happiness?  That's the way these stories are suppose to go, she finds happiness in him, how naive could she be to fall in love with the devil. He was so beautiful, yet so corrupted, she couldn't handle her minds abuse, let alone his. She was a broken girl, yet she tries her hardest to make others happy. It was the way she was brought up, what she was told to believe, even if she doubted it, it was right and she was always wrong. She grew up having little to no friends. She didn't bring them over to her house like normal teenagers, she was ashamed, ashamed of what hid behind the closed door, of what she once called a home. It was simply bricks and water to her. The staff at the institute knew her as a quiet, sad girl, that was simply an understatement, she was far more than sad at this point, she slowly fell into a mould of a lost soul, depression slowly crept up on her, but what could she do, she wasn't strong enough to fight it on her own. She didn't know her mind a minute. She knew that her mother wasn't a pleasant woman, a holy, Christian lady, yet she drank her soul away each night. After every drink she got more abusive towards Maisy, constantly telling her no man is worth anything, simply because she had bad experiences, telling her to save herself for marriage, so that no man has to see her fat body until they are tied down. Her mother was the voice in her head. They weren't made up. The scars on her wrist had healed with time, but she, she hadn't, she promised not to inflict any more harm on herself, she swore she wouldn't allow another blade to perish across her wrist, but that was what she was saying when she had no option, what happens when she has, she has a choice. When she has freedom. He didn't want her to have freedom, he wanted her all to himself. He wanted her to sit on his lap, dressed in skimpy clothes, while he broadcasts her to all the men, wishing that they were him. That was understandable, she was a beautiful person, on the inside. She was frail and he was so sure she would never disobey him or say no. I mean the girl couldn't look people in his eyes, for crying out loud. She looked so tired, her outfit dull, no expression present on her face. She didn't want to fall in love, she didn't want to feel love. She was too low to comprehend what was happening around her and he, he took advantage of that, he took advantage of her quiet, lifeless state, in hopes that she could give him what he craves, a doll to perish on his knee, obeying every order thrown her way. He knew she was naive. It was so pettish of him to prey on an innocent broken girl, silly girl should've listened to her mother, silly girl should realise that he wanted her outside shell, silly girl he doesn't care for your well being, or your feelings. He will crush you, you're just like the rest. You simply get showed off and the moment to disobey you disappear. He will lure you into a false sense of security by taking you to his house and lavishing you with gifts of all sorts, expensive gifts, he will buy you everything you could ever imagine, yet it still won't be enough for you, you silly girl, you were thought better than to find happiness in materialistic things. Don't get attached everyone will warn you, he is the devil, the devil reincarnated. He will not give you what you need, he will not provide you with what is most important, he will simply keep emotional distance. You always listen to others, obey their every demand but the silly girl must remain true to her new self, refuse to allow him to touch her in places that should be saved for marriage. He will never allow himself to develop feelings, feelings weren't meant to be felt. Only anger and fury were allowed. It wasn't normal for someone to constantly feel anger, yet that's all he feels.

I'm sorry it's short ~ C.