Sanity

Chapter Fifthteen

I woke up shaken from the same nightmare that disturbs my slumber continuously. I jump, the sweat carelessly dripping down my forehead, but still present. I was surrounded by darkness, pitch black, darkness. I never feared the dark due to the dark thoughts that consume me. I was in a slouched position with my head resting on a hard pillow surface, resembling a recliner chair, from what I could feel. I heard rustling and grew anxious, I was in an unknown place and memories of what had happened to me where building up inside my head. I was living a nightmare but I was the nightmare itself, I was a living and breathing nightmare.

The rustling came to a halt and I heard doors banging and some form of shouting. I grew anxious and a state of panic over took me, I tried to keep calm by listening throughly to my beating heart. Suddenly the lights switched on and the room was illuminated by a small bulb on the ceiling. I screamed with all I had. I couldn't hear anything except ringing. My throat started to throb but as the shadow walked closer towards me it encouraged me to scream louder. My head started to hurt but as the shadow got closer I recognised him as the devil himself. His mouth was moving but I was in a ridden state, and due to my screaming I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. He quickly reached over and placed his hand over my mouth, only this time I didn't fall into consciousness. I couldn't breathe, my chest hurt, I was convinced he was trying to murder me. He looked down at me, with a look of pure disgust, eyebrows furrowed, eyes squinted and lips arched. This look, was a look, I was, by all means used to.

He grabbed my arm, and knelt down in front of me. He looked frustrated but, as much as I tried couldn't calm down, I was shaking like a leaf. His glare intensified the more I struggled. I focused my eyes on my dirty white socks. Trying to memorise the memories that were worth remembering. I didn't bother looking at him, which caused his hold on my arm to intensify. I intently listened to my heartbeat. Eventually I shut my mouth and tried to think straight. I grew agitated and started struggling. He simply whispered "calm" and just like that my panicked state aroused. As if telling me to calm was going to help. As of uttering one word was going to bring me a sense of security. No. It wasn't. Him simply uttering words was only going to cause a bigger reaction than intended. He couldn't control the anxiety the courses through my bones. He couldn't help me by simply muttering calm. That's not how this illness works. I let the tears fall freely down my face my body shaking. My weak limbs too tired to even move them. I simply stayed starring at my socks while I allowed the tears to flow freely down my cheeks.

The small bulb on the ceiling quickly blew. I jumped and quickly latched onto his arm, out of instinct. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I didn't know how to react to this type of contact. I never experienced human contact like it. My body grew stiff. It tensed up the more he breathed. I could feel the air from his lungs hitting my shoulder blade and I wasn't sure if I liked being this close to him. I had never been this close to anyone. Not even anyone in my family. I wasn't good at socialising, I forever wished I could hold a conversation with someone other than my mother, but that appeared impossible on my behalf. I would always be the awkward girl, who could never be approached.

Over time he sat down on the seat I was seated on. I nuzzled my head in to his neck and could feel his heartbeat against my shoulder. I just wanted to test out this odd feeling of comfort. I had never been engulfed by anyone's presence before and I had started to almost like it. His breathing could easily calm me down. He started to stiffen, as I tried to move to a more comfortable position. He told me to "Stop" rather harshly and I tried to move off of him, in some way coming back to reality. I pushed and my screaming bellowed around the small room. He roughly grabbed my face and threatened me numerous times, to encourage me to shut up. I gazed at his face and took in his features. A piercing clung loosely to his lip, he looked unreachable, powerful almost. I understood the great danger I was in but as of now, I couldn't comprehend why he took me or how I thought he would help me. I grew up to learn that it wasn't okay to depend on others, you only had yourself and that has to be enough.

I gradually took in my surroundings as he released my face from his harsh grip. His face still harsh as I drew back away from him. I quickly scrambled away from him. I ran towards the door and just as I was about to open it" Don't" he spoke as I bravely went to grab ahold of the door. I screamed again. He grabbed my midriff and pulled me into him. He forced my head to relax on his chest as he led me back to the recliner seat. My small height being an advantage to him. He pulled me on to his lap and forced my head into his neck. I felt huge in his lap as the haunting demons returned back into my head. I felt like screaming but my eyes grew heavy as I listened to his heart beat and his shushing. I felt an odd sense of security or maybe it was the fact that I had never been confronted before that it felt new and surreal. I was tired and I felt stiff in his arms, it wasn't comfortable at first, but eventually I grew accustom me to his steady heartbeat. Wondering what significance a heartbeat holds. 

Third persons POV

She relaxed in his grip, he didn't know why he grabbed her and encouraged her to grow attached to him. He couldn't stand her screaming but he realised that she showed him her Demons. He had demons but didn't everyone. He was nearly just as broken as her and two broken pieces make a whole. But of course he didn't believe in that shit and she was so concentrated on dying she wasn't living. He wasn't one to encourage girls to get involved with him, they were nothing to him, so why would this girl be any different?

He listened throughly to her heavy breathing, a light snore coming from her mouth, very subtle at that. He gazed at her still questioning why she insisted on screaming the whole time. It drove him insane. He didn't know how much longer he could put up with it for. He thought she would be easy. He showers her with small things she desires to hear about herself and in return he gets her body. His to flaunt and leave marks on. He laid his head back, running his free hand through his hair and questioning what to do with her now. Questions swam through his head, all relating back as to why she was here. Why he had to pick her out of all the other girls. He could've easily got a girl from the club, but he then realised that one of those girls wouldn't be special, as at least one person in that club had already witnessed their body.

They were destined for disaster from the start, neither one knowing what lies ahead, whether they be together or not, disaster always strikes when you least expect it.

He didn't realise how much of a handful she was, and maybe he wouldn't of taken her if he had of. But then again he had witnessed her outbursts of insanity prior.

He carefully brushed hair from her face. Gazing down at her he took in every detail, he grazed his long finger over her lip, wondering why their paths crossed. He needed her and he was to afraid to admit it.

Even though she was sleeping he smiled and whispered into her ear "You really are crazy."

Authors note
I literally cannot thank y'all enough, I know I hit 1k reads a few days ago but I couldn't update and I'm sorry for being so inactive but I'm working on it and I just want to say thank you all so much💜 It means so much and I will try do another update tomorrow 👍🏾 I hope it's not too short😷 pls vote and comment and read😂 I'm sorry it's short 😭