mourir seul • nammin/minjoon •

• quatorze •

Jimin hesistantly took a chocolate chip out of the small box. Did this Namjoon-guy take something? Did he poison those chocolate chips? Was he, like, bipolar? Every question someone could ask themselves in this situation were shot through Jimin's mind, as if they were a swarm of crows flying around in his head. He looked at the single chocolate chip in his hand. He didn't want to say no. He was too scared of what could happen if he said no. Besides, maybe, just maybe, a tiny little bit, he wanted chocolate right now, but he woud never, ever, admit this. But he still didn't want to eat it. What if it's a trap? The swarm got more confusing.

"Don't worry, it's fresh from the store, it's not poisonous or anything.", the man next to him said. He took out a hand of chocolate chips himself and stuffed them into his mouth. What a weird guy,  Jimin thought. Namjoon closed his eyes and sighed satisfied, as he chewed on the sweet snacks. He really, really craved chocolate, he didn't hide that. Jimin watched him. Now that he got a close up without fearing for his life, well, at least not completely, he had time to make out some little details. His hair was fluffy, his nose was small, but straight. His lips were puffy and full, and they kinda looked cute when he chewed.

Jimin quickly looked away when Namjoon opened his eyes again. As attractive as that guy was, Jimin needed to always remind himself that he was not his friend. His hands fiddled, in between the single chocolate chip. Namjoon noticed. "Not hungry?", he asked. Jimin shook his head lightly, not daring to look up. "Was that a 'no, i'm hungry' or a 'no, i'm not hungry'?"

"It was..", Jimin whispered, lowering his head even more, slowly beginning to shake again, "a no.. i'm not hungry.." His eyes were blurry, his knees weak, even though he didn't even stand. He could feel them shaking, as much as his breath. Namjoon noticed the blanket over his legs was shaking, too. He knew what was happening. He knew it too good. But he didn't know what he could do about it, since he knew what happened before. He sighed lightly. "I'm going to get you something to drink, okay?", he said, standing up slowly, making sure Jimin saw his hands, "I'm taking a glass out of your little table closet right here.", he opened a little closet build in the small table next to Jimin's bed, "And i'm filling it with water from the tap.", he walked over to the little tab across the room, always making sure Jimin exactly saw his hands and other movements. Jimin watched him, his head still hanging, but he watched him, trying to watch everything he could through his blurred eyesight. Namjoon slowly turned on the faucet, filling the glas with clear water. He stood beside the tap, oddly, he had to have a weird position so he won't spill anything. But through that, the scared boy in the white bed across the room could see it. Namjoon then walked over again, holding up the filled glass. Jimin looked between him and the water. He wasn't sure. "You saw me fill it. There's no way I could have put something in it. Please drink.", Namjoon pleaded, putting on a soft expression, mirrored in his worried voice. Jimin's breath was still shaking. He was amazed how long he could go without a panic attack, but here it was. He didn't want to take anything from this dangerous stranger. But he had no reason to refuse this. He saw him filling the glass. And he had to drink, or else he would pass out. So he slowly lead his shaking hands up, putting them around the glass. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold it on his own. He felt already, it was too heavy for his weak arms. He shut his eyes as he felt the support of the others hands for the glass disappearing, preparing for his lap to get soaked. But it didn't happen. The support was there, his hands were warm. And two, big, comfortable hands were wrapped around his, carefully leading the glass in his own hands to his mouth. His grip around the glass began to get tighter, but Namjoon didn't let go. He concentrated on every impluse Jimin could give, when he moved the glass, when he lead it to his lips, when he tilted it, when he had enough, when he lowered it again, when he took another careful sip. All so he could make sure the small, shaky hands won't let him get soaking wet. "Drink everything, you're gonna feel better.", Jimin heard Namjoon's calm voice say, as he had already closed his eyes. When he put down the glass for the last time, Namjoon slowly put it onto the small table next to them. "Take a good breath, I'm going to open the window for a second.", he stood up again, pulling the curtains to the side. Jimin could see the clear night sky and the dark surroundings. They were not in a inner part of the city, though he was glad it was so beautifully silent and peaceful outside. Namjoon opened the two windows widely, a small wind filling the room and replacing the suffocating atmosphere with a fresh, cool and calming one. Jimin shuttered for a second, but immediately breathed better, as the cold nightly air filled his lungs, giving him more space to just breathe.

Namjoon sat down again, this time a bit more room between him and the bed. "Are you better now?", he asked in a low tone, careful, not to break the caressing atmosphere. Jimin took a few seconds to process, then nod. Namjoon closed his eyes for a moment, driving his hand through his brown hair. "Tell me when you're feeling alright. I want to talk you, really, but I need you mentally okay for that."

With that, he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and closing his eyes again. Jimin used the chance and watched him again, not saying a single word.