Heartbreaker (Calum and Michael)

Chapter 14

(Jessica's P.O.V)

So I'm not really sure what I had heard from upstairs but, I think Cal was yelling at Mikey and I finally know who Calum liked and I should've known that he liked me I guess that was the reason he stayed around me all these years.Now I'm starting to question if I really liked Mikey and if I liked Cal instead now I'm just so confused on how I feel an if I liked Cal then how would I dump Mikey and date cal.Then comes up the question that if me and Cal broke up would that not do anything to our friendship or would it completely break us apart?
So I was just lying there then after awhile I went up stairs to use the bathroom and when I was walking up the stairs I saw him just lying on his bed with his phone glaring on his face but I didnt say anything I just went to the bathroom and when I turned on the light I was blinded but when my vision came into focus I saw something I wish I didnt see.I saw a razor on the counter with blood on it and I covered my mouth to keep any sound from coming out so i just closed the door behind me and as I closed it I could hear Cal getting out of bed.
When I opened the door Cal was sitting at the edge of his bed and I walked into his room and he looked up at me."hey why are you awake?" he said looking up at me yawning." I heard some mumbled noices and I had to pee so.." I said laughing."Cal let me see your wrists"I said gently pulling his wrists towards me and when i pushed back his sleeves I could see the deep cut marks and I was running my fingers over the cut marks."Cal what happened and why didn't you tell me?"I asked him pulling his sleeves back down but still not letting him pull back his wrists."I-i idk what happened I was feeling upset and I didnt know what else to do" he said looking down at my hands holding his wrists."Cal I heard you on the phone with Mikey I know why your upset you dont need to lie to me"I said looking him in the eye."Oh you heard all that I'm sorry about what I said and that you heard it.Look I know your happy with Mikey but,I am in love with you Jessica I have always been I'm sorry I never told you that before but, I thought you would leave me if I told you."he said looking me back in the eye.
"Calum I could never leave you, I might not be your girl right now but maybe one day I'll be your girl but,I might not see it now but I might see it in the future"I said keeping my eyes with his."Jessica I can't get over my first love if I never tried for it"he said keeping the gaze."Calum I can't just break up with someone I care about and that cares about me to date someone that will give me the same thing just with a diffrent begining."I said holding our gaze."So if Mikey breaks you heart will you still care about him then?" he said,his chocolate brown eyes where staring into my soul."Calum I can't think that way because I know when you guys go on tour I would have to say goodbye to both of you which is heart breaking enough then him and I would have to break up anyway so you would both be gone and you wouldn't be able to comfort me then." I said starting to break the gaze and stand up.
"Jessica wait,"he said standing up,"I'm sorry about everything I said I'm just not in the right state of mind right now"he said."Its okay Calum I under stand,"I said turning around towards him,"Can I spend the rest of the night up here?"I asked him."Yeah of course" he said shutting off the light but I turned on my phone so he wouldnt bump into anything and when he was lying down nex to me I pulled his arm around me and I kissed all of the scars on his wrist and fell asleep holding his arm around me.When I woke up I checked my phone and I had like 100 messages and like 10 Missed calls from guess who?!Ugh I want to sleep away the day.