Secrets (DreamNotFound)

13

TW's:
-Mentions eating disorder
-Mentions binge/throwing up/starving

George's POV

I was constantly thinking about Dream coming out. I didn't really expect it at all, but I still loved him just as much. I had been feeling some weird feelings for Dream last days, but I never really thought about being gay or whatever and I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to fall in love with my best friend and I didn't want to have and come out to everyone. I wasn't gay, it was that simple.

Dream went to the supermarket to get some food and I felt bad, he had to go all the way just because he lied for me. I had showered and walked downstairs to meet the others. We would have to wait for all other people to come today.

'Hey guys,' I whispered when I got downstairs.

'Hey George, how did you sleep?' Fundy asked. He looked so happy, I wished I would also be happy.

'Oh, it was alright. You?'

'I slept great, only Sapnap can be so loud.'

Sapnap frowned and hit Fundy. 'Idiot.'

I looked over at Tommy and Tubbo. They were laughing and Tommy spit out his water.

'Tommy!' Wilbur screamed. 'What's wrong with you?'

'Sorry, Wil,' Tommy mumbled, still laughing.

'What's so funny?'

'A clip.'

They showed Wilbur the clip too and he also bursted into laughter. I didn't feel like seeing it and I sat down in an empty spot on the couch. Sapnap sat down next to me.

'Are you okay?' he whispered.

I nodded. 'You?'

'You look really pale and unhappy. Did something happen?'

'I would rather not talk about it, okay?'

'Okay.'

'How are you?'

'I'm okay,' he said, he looked better than yesterday. 'Did you hear Dream went completely psycho in the kitchen this night?'

'The eating?' I whispered. I was ashamed.

'Yeah, I laughed so hard. He is so dumb.'

I smiled softly. 'Yes, he must be.'

'Are you okay? You turned so pale suddenly?'

'I said I don't want to talk about it.'

'You know you can tell me everything, right?'

'Yeah, I know. It's just- I can't tell it. You would hate me after.'

Sapnap stood up and grabbed my hands to lift me up. He dragged me along to the kitchen so no one could hear us and looked at me.

'I would never hate you, George. You know this.'

'Sap, it's just so weird and disgusting.'

'Do you want to tell it to me? Does someone know it?'

'Dream does, because he walked in on me.'

'Walked in on you? What the hell did you do?'

'It wasn't Dream, eating this night.'

'What?'

'It was me, Sap.'

'Why did you say Dream did it then?'

'Because I have an eating disorder.'

'What?'

'I binged and threw it all up after.'

'Did you make yourself throw up?'

'Yeah, I know it's disgusting. I wanted to keep this a secret for forever, but Dream heard me throw up last night and he walked in. He saw all empty packages and it was pretty clear I binged.'

'Why do you binge?'

'I starved myself all day and I get so hungry that I binge and eat thousand of calories at once. Well and then I feel so guilty that I make myself throw it all up.'

'Why do you do this? To lose weight? You're already so thin.'

'My friends told me I was fat in the past.'

'Well, I don't know if you can consider them friends.'

'Well, I figured that out a little too late. They just kept saying I had to starve myself because I was fat. I wasn't that fat, but I started seeing myself fat. But because I starved, I got so hungry that I started binging.'

Sapnap didn't say anything and he hugged me tightly. 'I am not disgusted. I love you still, George. You have an eating disorder, it's nothing to be disgusted about. I hope you will feel a little better soon. Do you have bulimia?'

I nodded. 'Dream was going to eat a sandwich with me this morning.'

'Shall we all three eat a sandwich together?'

I nodded. 'If you want to.'

Sapnap nodded and hugged me again. 'You can do this, George. You're strong enough. I believe in you and I'm here for you.'

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