CYANIDE [IwaOi]

Chapter 5. breakdown

Oikawa spent a full day cooped up in his room, and Iwaizumi was nice enough to come over with freshly cooked food and drinks since Oikawa wasn't feeling well.

He couldn't sleep the previous night after what he's done. All he could do was stare himself in the mirror and think "Why?" He couldn't start to comprehend what went through his head at the time, just some messed up bubble that went by, popping as he felt unsafe, violated.

"But he got what he deserves, no?" He spoke aloud, questioning his pity reflection in the mirror, not getting any response. He sighed and choked up as he let himself fall to his knees, eyes glued on the reflective glass in front of him.

"Monster?" He asked to himself, watching his face morph into one of fear, tears welling up. He shook his head lightly, whispering out no's as he slowly saw the terrified face of the stranger through his own. He could see the man cry as he himself started to sob.

"HE WAS THE MONSTER." He yelled at his reflection. The glass didn't reply, just stared back as him with an inverted copy of hia face. He took deep breaths to calm himself a bit, on the verge of a panic attack.

The bittersweet taste of revenge wasn't what he wanted to achieve through murder, he just wanted to make the man a bit scared so he wouldn't be assaulted. A bit of brute force to show society's lowest scum it didn't hold a chance on Oikawa.

Yet he didn't stop at violence. He couldn't stop at violence. He was in a trance, hypnotized by the power he held over the defenseless man on the dirty tile floor, curled in pain from a singular blow.

He couldn't hold it back, he wanted justice. He didn't want to let him get away with his acts like that, especially since he could have previously done it, or do it again in the future.

But he never wanted to push it that far. He never wanted to go for a murder. It wasn't just self defence at this point, it was a poisoning, a killing. He killed a man in cold blood on the spot and it made him sick.

"HE FUCKING DESERVED IT! HE FUCKING DESERVED IT, IT'S NOT MY FAULT, IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT!" He screamed at his reflection, crying as he hit beside the mirror.

But the lingering thoughts stayed. He felt so powerful, so in control as he watcged the man die. He felt like he did a good action, like no one was gonna suffer from another assault from this man again. He felt like he was finally putting an effort on putting his values forth, justice.

It was only fair that the man was punished, right? It was what was right, to punish a bastard like him. So was it right to kill him?

Oikawa sighed, knowing no matter how much he tried to convince himself he did the good thing, he was the bad guy here. He straight up killed a man and not of self defense.

He considered turning himself in, but deep inside, he refused to even consider the shame of being a lawyer and murderer. He's supposed to help the people, to give them justice!

Iwaizumi told him about the dead guy at the club, a staff member found him the next morning. Authorities claimed the death was by natural causes, which oddly reassured Oikawa. Even though he knew the chances of the cops even finding a trace of cyanide in the man's blood were near impossible, it still made him anxious.

"Crazy, right? There was a dead dude in the same building as us. Man that kinda sounds gross." Iwaizumi said as he sipped a glassed of water, scrolling through social media on his phone. He was not really paying attention to Oikawa as he just came to drop some food and drinks off for him.

"Yeah, that's kind of disturbing..." He mumbled as he took a small bite of the grilled wrap Iwaizumi brought over from a nearby cafe. Iwaizumi finally turned his attention to the brunette, looking at his clearly tired and stressed figure.

"What's up with you? Ya look like ya saw a ghost or some dude die. You good?" Oikawa flinched and shook his head, waving his hands lightly. "Nope! Just had a bad night of sleep and a lot of class this morning for cases." He quickly covered.

He did infact have a case offered to him, one of a divorce that could be caused by domestic abuse towards the wife and child. But in the case seemed rather complicated to be honest, since the child, aged of 11, claims both parents were physically and mentally violent towards her.

So not only would he need to deal with the usual divorce procedures, but also the procedures of where the child is going to live- depending on the proof and all, there is probably going to have the option to ask a relative to be a legal guardian, if not she would need to go a foster family.

So many things were harassing his mental state at the moment, and he knew he was going to need to take some time to figure out where he is gonna stand in all this. If everyone believed that the man died of natural causes, he won't declare himself.

But that won't change his guilty conscience and questions about that odd feeling he had during the man's final minutes. He thought the man deserved it, and as long as he didn't ever do it again, je would be okay.

He just kept thinking about justice, he did what he thought was right.

Or was he wrong?