Sold To MILFs

Chapter Six - Scarlett

 I knew the others felt like fainting when they met their MILF, but I literally fainted when I saw Helena Bonham Carter. Okay yes, I always get dizzy after sitting for awhile, because I have "low iron." And we were sitting in the limo for a long time, but I still believe Helena's power made me faint.

I kind of just stared at her for the entire ride to the airport. She was the Helena Bonham Carter. Looking at her brought me back to the night of January 2, 2021. I usually go months without having any dreams, then have a week full of weird and scary nightmares, which I can never really remember, but I remembered this part of the dream vividly. I was living in some kind of dystopian Handmaid's Tale society. Like I had a uniform dress, a creepy husband, and a cool Victorian house and everything. I mean I was super oppressed, but I looked kind of hot. And I was on a beach with Helena Bonham Carter. It was grey outside, and we had lots of coats and scarves and masks. It looked straight out of Portrait of a Lady on Fire. This book had washed ashore, full of maps, and we were trying to find all the pieces, so we could get out of this super awful society (probably to Canada because that's how it works.) But then some soldier guy spotted us and was like "Lady Wives, get back home and into the kitchen." And of course we're were like, "Please don't shoot us, we'll go do that. So Helena Bonham Carter walked me home, and we were standing on the porch, and looking out at the sea, and then she kissed me on the cheek! And then the whole dream morphed into a "on a bus full of children, slowing sliding off of a cliff, hours of agonizing pain" type dream, but that doesn't matter.

Helena Bonham Carter has always been hot. In every movie in the 90s where she played a sweet and shy British girl, who has to be chaperoned wherever she goes, and takes a trip to Italy, and  does something to ruin her reputation, she was hot (Yes there are multiple movies like this, they are all over two hours long). In Harry Potter, she was really hot. Yes, she was a villain, and yes, she tortured lots of people, but she was sexy. So take that. In every Tim Burton movie where she has to wear a corset and show off her boobies and has really cool hair and her skin is pale and she looks dead, she is really hot. In The Crown, she is really hot. Like I may not understand anything they were saying when they were talking about government, but when Princess Margaret showed up, and she was just hanging out in her bikini, and partying on the beach, the British monarchy seemed a lot more interesting. She makes Fight Club almost watchable. Even in Alice in Wonderland, where she is super CGI-ed, and only shouts about cutting off people's heads, she is hot.

So yeah, a lot of things went into making her my dream MILF. I kind of forgot where this was going because I got wrapped up in my love of HBC.

I woke up on the floor of the limo, with her staring down at me.

"Are you alright?" She slightly slurred, because I had seen her drinking from a little flask she kept in her pocket, which might be irresponsible, but I also feel like is something she would do, and it's really hot.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just overwhelmed." I replied.

"I would be too." She said. She held out her hand and helped me up. When I got out of the limo, my sisters, and the MILFs were waiting.

"Sorry." I apologized. 

"No need. We don't fly commercial, so we're not in a hurry." Queen Latifah smiled. We followed her through the airport doors, right through a private first class lounge, and out on to the tarmac. Gleaming in the British sun was a private jet, ready to take off.

"Hop on board ladies!" Natasha Lyonne shouted.