Sold To MILFs

Chapter Nineteen - Steve

The crowd was becoming more uneasy as Ed dragged on. I felt anxious, knowing he could make a move at any point. But what could we do? James Corden blocked the exit. Ed continued on.

"You know, hot women never seem to appreciate me. Phoebe!" He swerved to point at Phoebe Bridgers in the audience. "I asked you to collaborate, and you never called me back!"

Next to me, Jaeden gasped.

"Not Phoebe." She looked angry. She glanced at me. "We need to do something."

I looked past her, at the other MITs. We silently nodded, knowing what to do.

In one smooth motion, Alara pushed James Corden up and over the balcony. Scarlett leapt towards the door.

"It's locked!" She shrieked.

"We need to get down there!" Jaeden panicked. Suddenly, I had an idea. From my clutch, I pulled my supply of back-up Grateful Dead tee-shirts. I started handing them to Jaeden.

"Start tying them together." I commanded. In no time, we had a full rope made.

I threw it at the stage lights and the rope hooked around it. I grabbed the rope, stepped onto the balcony's rail, and swung off.

I flew through the air, and came rushing towards Ed. I kicked him in the chest, and he went sliding across the stage. 

I glanced back at the box and saw that Maria had kicked the door open. After reassuring Taylor, they sprinted to the stairs. The audience had become frantic, climbing over seats to reach the exits. But they just seemed to be gathering in the back. Had the other exits been locked too?

The other MITs would soon be here. But would they get here soon enough? Ed had started to get back up. I looked at Olivia, still in shock and sitting at the piano.

"GO! Get out of here!" I shouted, and she ran. I faced Ed.

"Why do you keep doing this?" I cried. "Why do you have to keep ruining our lives?"

"Because you ruined mine first!" He said, blood pouring from his nose. "MILFs are holding me back!"

"You only have yourself to blame!" I told him. "Stop writing crappy music!"

"AHHHH!" He lunged at me, and I dodged. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the other arrive at the stage, but Adam Lavine had also arrived, and was fighting them.

I spun around and punched Ed, breaking his nose. He swore, then kicked me hard in the legs. I fell on my back, and felt paint shoot up it. Ed stood over me, ready to hit again.

But I was ready first.

I pounced up, scratching his face. He screeched, then doubled back with another punch. I ducked down, but he was expecting that. His knee caught my jaw and I collapsed again.

Next to me, I saw Scarlett tumble down the stairs as Adam laughed. He avoided attacks from the other MITs. They were struggling too.

Ed looked down at me, a gun pointed at my head.

"Not so fast!" Jaeden ran at him, and pushed him into the piano. It sang out as he rolled off the top, onto the keys, and then onto the ground.

The others had defeated Adam Levine, and now the stood besides me. Alara offered me a hand, I got up. We watched Ed as he groaned. He couldn't seem to move anymore.

"We're always one step ahead of you." Maria gloated.

"You can't defeat the MILFs." I told him.

"Foolish...girls." He struggled. "The battle isn't over yet. I'm... not the last one." He grinned, his mouth full of blood. He laughed one last, haunting laugh, then his eyes rolled back and his body went slack.

We didn't have time to question what he meant, or process Ed's death. The moment of relief was silenced by the slow footsteps of two men emerging from the shadows.

"Oh, you stupid girls." An impossibly ugly man said in a condescending tone. "You haven't won."

Quentin Tarantino stood before us, with his right hand man, Armie Hammer (alleged cannibal) next to him.