Sold To MILFs

Chapter Three - Alara

We gathered by the front door, all scared of what our future held for us, but excited to start a new Ed-less chapter.

God I hate Ed Sheeran so much. His stupid little face engrages me. He is the human equivalent of a Ricky and Morty tee shirt, and yet somehow he got famous. Who allowed that to happen? He has no musical talent. Some musicians can get away with this, if they are hot. Ed Sheeran, my awful, disgusting father, is not hot. He is the definition of looking like he was dropped too many times on the head as a baby. Maybe that's rude. But it isn't. Because he is a ginger, and he is Ed Sheeran, and those two things combined means he has no feeling.
So yeah, I hate my dad. Maybe in a world where he had held us as babies, or wasn't involved in committing several war crimes, or hadn't collaborated with Justine Beiber, I would have loved him.
What am I saying?
Ed Sheeran is unlovable. It's just who he is. So I think we were all more excited than sad to leave our childhood home.
We stood by the front door. Ed faced us, in a hideous brown tracksuit and smirked. We heard a car pull up in the driveway, and heels clicking up the stone path. I took a deep breath. The moment of truth was almost here.
Five shadows appeared through the frosted glass windows. Suddenly we were nervous. We looked at each other. Why were there so many people at the door? Were we being separated from each other? I held my breath. Ed opened the door. And oh my god.
It was MILFs. Five MILFs stood on Ed Sheeran's front step. This couldn't be happening. This was too good to be true. So many rich and beautiful faces looked at us. Maybe Ed had killed us. Maybe we were in heaven.
And then I spotted her. I would recognize her anywhere. Ed didn't let us go to school full time, because of our chores, but I had taken chorus. I was a bright student, and I was told I was even more talented than my father (as if that meant anything to me. An on fire trash can has more potential than Ed Sheeran.) And it was all because of her. She inspired me. From the moment I saw her conduct, I knew I loved her. Mitsuko Uchida represented everything good about the musical world. She was the anti-Ed Sheeran. The answer to all my problems.
Some would say she looked plain next to the other women, but to me, she was perfect. She had on a simple button down shirt. So professional, so sexy. A working MILF. She seemd to glow. And then, we made eye contact.
Time stopped. My heart started beating way too fast, but at the same time stopped entirely. In her eyes, I saw my entire future, my life, and my soul. We were destined to be.
And then Ed ruined the moment, like he does every moment.
"Come on in."