O2L's Butterfly||Adopted By O2L

My Note

it said....

At the moment, I am just sitting here thinking of you and everything that we have been through … and I would say I have no idea how we have made it so far, if I did not believe in there being one person that you are destined to be with, but I do. Baby, we have had our share of ups and downs, plus more. Things have happened between us in this short time that no one ever has to go through in there entire life, but it has only made me love you more.

When we first met you did not know how to trust anymore. The spirit of life had been taken away, but somehow it is there again and i dont want to take all the credit for this restoration in the life the boys have also helped. At the time that we met, you were going through some things, but when others turned their backs on you uhhh sam … we stood strong. I was determined to be there for you and for that I thank God every day that he sent you to me. If You would have known that when you told me about your past and that I would be there to help you through it we could have pushed past all the bad.

Baby, I know how much it took for you to trust me and i just want you to know I will never leave. How could I? How could i ever leave someone so loving and pasionate and amazing as you. You are my everything and will protect you from anything and everything that every wants to hurt you. You are my baby and I love you.

I love it when you let me wrap my arms around your stomach and pull you in close to me. In that moment we are free of the past and the judgment of others and all the troubles of life. I just want to lay there forever smelling the scent of your shampoo, hearing each soft breathe you take, feeling the way your hips bones lie when you are on your side and how smooth you skin is, the taste of your lips when you kiss me goodnight and the feeling i get in my heart when i hear your voice. I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you through every up and down. Watching us grow as a couple and when we tell the others I can't wait till we are both ready and then we can spend every moment together.

I cant wait till we can move in together. I can wake up by your side we can cook dinner together and cuddle on the couch watching movies. We can share the house work. We could spend the day in the bed if we wanted to. We can eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. We can have children and watch them grow before our eyes, into the perfect creation of amazing life. It will be perfect. 

I love you Kate Elizabeth Dillion with every piece of my heart and soul. Happy Birthday Baby. 

Kates P.O.V 

I finishes reading the note with tear stained cheeks. "he actually loves me" i whispered under my breath. I read the note again and again. "He wants to live with me. He wants to have kids with me. He loves me. He wants to marry me." This is all a bit too much to take in at one time. My breathing started to become heavy, my chest tightened, I dont know what to do. "I can't do this. I'm 17 and fat and ugly. I can't ." I say a little louder than i intended. I feel my chest tighten even more this is denfinatly a panic attack. I don't know how to make it stop, the only way I know is cutting. I crawl out of my bed and i crumple to the floor. I pull me knees to my chest, close my eyes, and think. I dont want to wake up any of the boys, If i cut Jc will see, Plus i dont think i can make it to the bathroom with out passing out. I lay flat on the ground and place my hands on my stomach in an attempt to control my breathing, but all i can think about is the letter. I feel dizzy and i'm in a lot of pain know. I decide to crawl out of my room and the first person i see is the lucky winner of helping me stop my panick attack. I try to stand and fail so i crawl. There are noe tears streaming down my cheeks again. Everything hurts and I feel like i cant breathe. I get out of my room and look down the hall. No one is there so i start to crawl by the rooms to see if anyone is up. I get to kians room and see that the light on his phone and TV were still on. I hit the door a little so it opens and mumble "Kian... please help" I say between scrathy cries and gasps for air. His head pops up and he sees me "Kate whats wrong!" Kian yells as he jumps out of bed. I put a finger to my lips motioning for him to be quiet. He runs over and picks me up bridal style and brings me to his bed. He places me down and starts asking me questions "Whats wrong? Should i get the other boys? Where does it hurt? Why are you crying? Who did this to you?" I continue to gasp but my breathing has slightly improved at the sight of a familiar face. I whisper "panick attach and please dont get the boys." To kian. "How can i help you kate or i have to get the other boys." I really didnt know but i just needed something. "I dont know" Kian opened his arms and pulled me into a hug, i placed my head on his chest as he pulled me in closer. He rubbed small circles on my back and whispered into my ear nice things about how he loved me as a sister and that he wished he could take the panick attacks away and for him to keep them from getting to me. 

My breathing started to even and my chest loosened. I felt safe, and my mind went blank. That was it i needed kian. We stayed this way for a few minutes and then i pulled away. "Thank you Kian." "Kate whats wrong why were you like that?" I quickly thought of a lie, i can't tell about Jc's note. "I had a dream about my dad hurting me and my mom again, and then i woke up and had a panick attack from the stress." "I'm so sorry my little butterfly, does it still hurt anywhere?" Kian said. "My back aches and my head hurts but it's probably from being so tense." "Let me look" He says "I just want to make sure you dont have bruises or anything" "Why would i have bruises, i didn't fall." "just let me look." I layed flat on my stomach on his bed, kian pulled up the back of my shirt. "Kate i can see the backs of your ribs and spine, your too skinny, you body can't take all the stress tension." "I'm fine kian, really." He pushed on my back a little and started to rub it. It felt good, like a much needed massage. After about five minuted i slowly sat up, "Thank you kian but i'm not your problem you can go back to bed." I started to get up when kian grabbed my wrist. "Kate just stay in here with me tonight and we can explain to ricky in the morning about the panick attack i just dont want you to have that dream again and me not be there." I immediatly thought of Jc what would happen if he found out i went to kian and not him would he be mad? "Kian i really shouldn't, its fine..." "Please Kate just stay and watch a movie with me and whn you fall asleep i'll bring you back to your room. Okay?" "Fine Kian" I say realizing i wasnt going to win this fight. I crawled into his bed and he rapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer. I felt a little wierd but oh well. He turned on Bruce Almighty with Jim Carey and we watched the movie. Very quickly i felt my eye lids get heavy. Kian noticed, "Goodnight butterfly" He whispered and kissed my forenead. I let my eyes shut and fell asleep listening to Kian say every line of the movie. Kian is such a good brother.